conference

"i have radiohead, christian music, and someone watching kitty-cat stuff.

i am so confused right now."

disaster struck--many times

and it all happened in Singapore, not here.

i'm in fact quite content to stay here, and not go back.

i'm not blogging as much as i thought i would be, but i think that's just because i have far less to complain about. and there's not point complaining about human beings, taking into account that that's what they are. human beings.

that's all. this made no sense whatsoever.

cold weather is your best friend

no, really, it is. i like it so much here i actually think about never going back.

this trip just proves to me that singaporeans are just sick, sad, wrong human beings.

i am the king of the world!

i have internet access! the wonders of a simple ethernet cable.

did you know that there exist people who can't grasp the concept of a wired network or wired internet access?

three minutes

i'm in someone else's session on the Free Internet access terminals at the transit mall at terminal one, so this is all i'm going to say:

see you in one month.

and now, the coffee from the bean and the tea from the leaf beckons.

i should be asleep, or otherwise doing something more constructive than what i am doing now

as above.

four line breaks

four line breaks or two with a horizontal line spanning half the page?

i can't decide between the two, and because of that my life is suddenly drawn to a complete halt. which looks better? the original formatting in the document i'm copying from had horizontal lines in it, but it's getting tiring to manually code in the horizontal lines. which wins, anal-retentiveness or natural laziness?

it's now 12:02 PM. anal-retentiveness won.

my mom is sending me to the airport tomorrow. i don't want anyone to send me there. i want to go by myself. i need a clean break.

deadline

"oh my god since when did you grow breasts?"

"my period coming."

so is this why i have sisters?

take a chance on me

“Yes, Rodney, that was my point. The world is a romance novel, and you are the main character.”

what will be, will be

this doesn't feel right. it's the last weekend before i leave for China. i should be, in the words of Betty, rocking out.

instead, here i am listening to Sympathique on my old Dell and catching up on email, livejournal, blogger and RSS. not by choice, but by default because of the lack of motivation to do anything the fuck else.

great. i just remembered to check the Detour shirt i wanted to buy online. and it's no longer for sale.

i feel sad.

i've made a huge mistake

i really, really, really do not want to go to china now.

MIDI'ed up, and into the groove

I never liked George Michael much
Although they say he was the talented one
Andrew Ridgley drew the map
That rescued me, took me to paradise

I was brought up to the sound of the synthesiser
I learned to dance to the beat of electronic drums
I came alive to the smouldering fire in your eyes
I love you now and I will 'til the day that I die

I had a tooth pulled as a child
I put it underneath my pillow
And when I looked the very next morning
There was a ten pound note

I took it to the nearest record shop
I put it down upon the counter
I gotta tell you what I know to be true
I bought my first record because of you

I was brought up to the sound of the synthesiser
I learned to dance to the beat of electronic drums
I came alive to the smouldering fire in your eyes
I love you now and I will 'til the day that I die

I love everything
I love to be around money
A daughter of negative equity
A child of Black Wednesday (Blue Monday, Black Wednesday)

This is Sarah Nixey talking
MIDI'ed up and into the groove
I've got to tell you
What I know to be true

I didn't do too well at school
They said I couldn't concentrate
The day you flew off into the sunset
Was the day my education was saved

Then years later on Kensington High Street
I saw you drive a white convertible Golf GTI
Carefully edging out into the traffic
Just like a real live human being

I was brought up to the sound of the synthesiser
I learned to dance to the beat of electronic drums
I came alive to the smouldering fire in your eyes
I love you now and I will 'til the day that I die

Daddy lost everything
Our beautiful house, his beautiful sports car
His beautiful wife, I held his hand and told him
Everything would be all right

This is Sarah Nixey talking
MIDI'ed up and into the groove
I've got to tell you
What I know to be true

I was brought up to the sound of the synthesiser
I learned to dance to the beat of electronic drums
I came alive to the smouldering fire in your eyes
I love you now and I will 'til the day that I die

I was brought up to the sound of the synthesiser
I learned to dance to the beat of electronic drums
I came alive to the smouldering fire in your eyes
I love you now and I will 'til the day that I die

look here

Look Here.

I DID NOT FUCKING WANT TO BE THE GROUP LEADER. I DID NOT NOMINATE MYSELF.

i also did not appreciate practically HALF THE FUCKING CLASS nominating me for group leader when only three people in the class are in the same group as me.

that is all.

x-type

My first uncle, his wife, and his eldest daughter have just arrived. They smell like their Jaguar, which after all this time still has that nauseating new-car smell that is actually hazardous to your health, and does nothing for me beyond giving me a migraine and nausea.

As usual, they’ve brought a half a chicken and a quarter of a pig along with them for lunch. A lunch for five people, three of which eat half that of a normal human being’s intake. I will never understand it.

The weakness is still there. The mind is unwilling, and the flesh is weak, too many things, too little desire to see anything through.

You, will be, the death, of me.

And our time is running out.

let you down

something's wrong. i go to bed at ten at night and wake at five in the evening. sleep for seven hours and have to take a three-hour nap not five hours later. and i still feel like constant shit, like moving off my bed or off my seat will stir up such shit and drain me so much, it's not worth the effort.

the China trip hasn't bored me yet, surprisingly, but it has despaired, discouraged, disheartened and i have lost the excitement of it. take, for instance, my toiletries. my mom got me what appears to be a liter of Dove body soap, and another liter of Head & Shoulders shampoo. the two bottles combined are three times the volume and twice the weight of my PowerBook. then, my aunt, after bitching and moaning about my mother's common sense, gets me a smaller double pack of Head & Shoulders shampoo and conditioner. then, my first aunt gets me a smaller bottle of Head & Shoulders shampoo. every one is making this huge fuss.

i don't think i'm going to be out of this funk any time soon, and i think this is going to be problem.

under the skin

"Give me the pen," Rodney said.

"What for?"

"I want to write liar across your stupid forehead," Rodney said.