"Attention students: the school is now officially on fire. Please begin your Emergency Evacuation Procedure now. Repeat: the school is now officially on fire. Please evacuate. Thank you."]
Received : Friday, 15th August 2003 06:33 am
From : omanager@slss.edumin.co.sg
To : allstaff@slss.edumin.co.sg
Re : Today's Emergency Exercise
Hi all
As you are all doubtlessly aware by now, there will today be an Emergency Exercise at 11:30 am, sharp. Teachers, I understand that you have a tight schedule to run [especially with SARS affecting us this year], but please allow the students to leave the classroom when the announcement is made. Please make sure, though, that the students evacuate only after the verbal announcement and not immediately after the emergency siren.
Most of you have been briefed about this exercise already, but in case you weren't at the meeting yesterday evening, I mentioned that I have had some equerries from teachers on gate duty at the carpark, regarding their exact duties. For you teachers, your duty is simply to shut and man the gates during the exercise. This way, we will be able to block vehicular access to the school and prevent students from escaping, all while the school is 'on fire'. I'm particulary proud of this last stroke of genius by the committee. It is really an effective way of ensuring that the exercise runs efficiently, without un-expected interruptions.
The AV Club has been instructed to prepare a sound system for use in the carpark. I have requested for a larger, louder system, but Miss Kali informs me that this is un-feasable. The I/C will have to make do with whatever it is she comes up with, as the Club's students will be involved in the exercise.
That being all, let's make this a great Emergency Exercise. Remember, in this day and age of un-determinable terrorist attacks and SARS, Drills Save Lives.
--- End Of Message ---
- "Shut Your Mouth", Garbage
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