wooden dolphins.

wasn't expecting this, were you?

well, neither was i. i normally wouldn't be found dutifully tapping away at my keyboard, typing a new entry into my blog at 11:30 pm, but as i've the spare time, i thought i'd better get myself into the habit before this page becomes stale.

anyways, boys and girls, tonight it's about the dysfunctional people that are my parents.

as some of you know, my dad has an 'enterprise' in Paupa New Guinea. don't ask me where that is, i don't quite know either. all i know is that he fancies the handicraft there. from downright ugly ceramic castle lamps to carved wooden dolphins, everything needed to satisfy my father's exceedingly bad taste [he's the one who purchased the Nokia 8910 Midnight Edition, remember?] can be found at the local village, where you cannot find any 'village idiots', because they, frankly, all are.

so, the Big Move into The Realm Of The Insane [Hougang] involved much packing of aforementioned crap into tiny, not quite large enough, cardboard boxes.

but, first, let me sidetrack a little. those living in Hougang would probably want to know why i've labeled it as a nuthouse. well, simply put, it is. listed below are some reasons why:

1 - this one's obvious. it houses the Woodbridge Institute Of Mental Health. that's read as 'crackoville'

2 - the children here are hyperactive. the afternoon session kiddos are up early to carry out their daily wake-up call for the entire neighbourhood, playing and shrieking, screaming and shouting. the noise from the playground reverbs up between the blocks, and as a result i can listen to thrilling conversations regarding the very latest in Japanese Trends [it's the what, Bey Blades, is it, now?] and the shrieks of laughter as they run around each other.

now, if it all stopped after they left, i wouldn't complain as much. but once they trot off to school, the morning session kiddos take their shift, and when they're joined by the afternoon session kiddos in the evening, they don't stop till 'round 11 pm. that is just wrong.

3 - the area is virtually inaccessible, due to a lack of MRT connectivity. but even if the trains had been running by now, would i feel safe throwing my life into the carriage of a fully-automated train travelling at 90 km/h? [10km/h faster than the older ones] but i guess i should be thankful for even this limited connectivity. we're moving into a worse place, which, don't worry, i shall have lots to rant and rave about.

4 - completely and utterly nosy neighbours. this unit that we've rented is a corridor one, meaning that people will walk past on their way into their houses. unfortunately for us, we're used to keeping the windows open, and will simply pass out if the were closed. this, apparently, is interpreted as a free-for-all signal for all and sundry to come witness the spectacle. the next-door neighbours consist of some of the most unattractive people i've met. there's the balding old man, his loudmouth-typical auntie wife, the first son with his girlfriend/fiancée/wife, the fat slob of a whimpering peeping-tom secondary-school second son, and finally the endless noisemaker that is the youngest daughter.

all have learnt to stop blatantly staring through our windows, after use staring back at them with our own looks, ranging from threatening to deranged. all but the peeping-slob. he still feels compelled to stare through our windows every time he walks past, with this pathetic look on his face. a pervy never changes his habits, i suppose.

5 - 'shopping centers'. one has no less than three names, [Hougang Point, Hougang Festival Market & Central Place] and the other has a block number. [Block 205, Heartland Mall Kovan. Kovan, incidentally, is a daft name.] also, where the heck is Hougang Green? i've heard rumblings about this mystical location, but haven't exactly seen the place.

now that i've established some reasons for loathing Hougang, let's move one, shall we?

last night, without anything better to do after finishing their dinner, my parents decided to haul out our entire collection. dust mites were released, wood shavings were vacuumed, dorsal fins were glued on and individual sculptures re-wrapped. i was sneezing my nose off due to my allergies.

my mom also decided this was a good time to re-iterate that i should sell my HP Vectra. that's my first PC. there is NO way i am selling that. this is, like, the fifth time she's asked me, and i've told her four times, rather politely, that i am not selling it. but she, apparently, is adamant about it, and i think i'll just let it drag out 'till she forgets again.

great, she's shouting for us to go to bed. see you in the morning. [i didn't say which morning]