ok, i promised some time ago that i would elaborate on the details of my next home. well, here it is.
heard of Chuan Park? i certainly haven't, at least not until i found out we actually had to move in there, but apparently it exists. see, it's a run-down 20+ year old condominium, never renovated since construction, and showing its age. it's grayish-greenish-whitish on the outside, and looks as if it's the one place on Earth that's had the Technicolor sucked out of it.
my parents bought a unit there because:
a) the units are big
b) its convenient
c) my father likes the aura-environment-crap there
well, i don't like it because:
a) only the living room is big [the bedrooms aren't any bigger than a HDB flat's]
b) it's in the middle of nowhere. it's equally far from the Serangoon, Ang Mo Kio and Toa Payoh Bus Interchanges and MRT Stations.
c) the place is a ghost town. no one would think any differently if the crappy sign outside said 'Upper Serangoon Senior Citizens' Home'
so, in their warped way of consolation, they promised that we could renovate the inside of the unit [i try not to call it a house or home, because it's nowhere near either] any way we wished.
some time later, they decided they want to keep the living room and kitchen exactly the same, because they liked the ugly maroon granite/marble/whatever floor tiling and the crappy wooden carven kitchen cabinets. i forced a straight face and played along.
next, my mom has an idea to build the stove in the service balcony, cutting it off from the rest of the kitchen so 'the oil stays in there'. i pretended i didn't hear anything.
then, my father announces his grand project to build a bar counter in the living room. i sucked my face in and kept to myself.
but, now, shock-horror, they decide to keep the parquet flooring in all the bedrooms. that is simply the last straw. i've already had an idea of how my [shared, believe it or not] bedroom would look like. birch flooring, white walls, birch & white-finish furniture. now, i ask you, how in Lucifer's reach does bloody parquet flooring match up with that? my father told me that parquet was "nice, what." i told him to go to Phua Chu Kang [as opposed to telling him to go to Hell].
that was all nicely wrapped up into the day [the 4th] which my father left for Papua New Guinea, which meant i got my phone line back, stopped having to use a bloody Nokia 8910, and a huge portion of my life's problems was quite a distance away.
but i was reminded that much of it was still here, just this morning.
i woke up around noon, having nothing more to do than wake up, and my maid asked me to call my mother. what did i do now? that bit was said out loud, but she didn't answer. so i called her. she asked me why i was calling. i calmly explained that the maid had asked me to. then she remembers. then she starts ranting in my ear. apparently the maid had complaints again [God knows what they were about, she was ranting and raving too quickly] and took them to my mother.
after she's done, she asked if i've called Victoria Tutorial Center. i told her i got a voice message. she says "no, i didn't get one, what." i calmly explain to her that i got a voice message, and not her. then i explain that they're closed for Deepavali, and the message said they'd re-open on the 6th. she says, mock-smartly, that today is the 6th. i retort that i've just woken up. she screams something about having to work and me enjoying myself, waking up as late as i want to. [well, i'm sorry if you're 37 years old and i'm 15] seriously, is it my fault? in the midst of reigning in my rage, i discover that she's hung up on me. she's always doing that. and she calls me rude.
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