you think that's where it's at, but is that where it's supposed to be?

if you feel like you've seen read what you're about to read somewhere else before, it's because you have: what happens if something happens to your O Level examination paper?

i've been pondering this for some time now, and it suddenly became a lot more real when there was a mix-up in the collection of the Cheenese Paper Two on Friday - the same few teachers that didn't know how to operate the barcode scanners [that's what Aloyisus, the technician, was there for] collected Paper Two in a fashion that caused them to count, recount, check with the students, ensure that out papers were collected by the teacher with the bunned-up hair, count again, before letting us go whilst still fussing over the large stacks of paper.

what happens if Pat, the other people down the row and i have had their papers misplaced? anarchy at OneNorth?

i'm getting this strange feeling in my gut and in my head - i'm getting nowhere, and am going nowhere. what am i studying for? i can't answer questions pertaining to my future career or even what course i want to take in Poly, why i don't want to go to JC, etc. i'm a nowhere man, making my nowhere plans, to go nowhere.

i haven't, for example, decided that i want to become an academic driving my Mercedes-Benz E200 to and from NUS back/from a restored shophouse along Upper East Coast Road.

what happened to the me that wanted to become an airline pilot, driving a rosso barchetta 1987 Ferrari F40 and living in whichever building took over Shaik Maderseah Lane? I think he died when the lane was demolished.

what happened to the me that wanted to drive a metallic grey 2002 Saab 9-5 Aero Sportswagon, communting between my apartment at the Paterson Edge and my law office in Shenton Way? something happened last year. died in a car crash, i think. the offending cars seemed to be a red Suzuki Swift GL and a silver Hyundai World Coupe.....

what happened to the me that wanted to drive a matt black 1986 Saab 900S Cabriolet, working as a creative in an ad agency, copywriting [if that's the term] on my 15" Apple PowerBook G4 in Soho, London?

"Now, you sure you're not getting your hopes up?"

"'Course I am, that's what hopes're for."

unlike the masses, i dread the day the O Levels are over. that's when my fate is sealed, though i haven't a clue what kind of fate i want.

i've a little less than a week left. i seriously need help with my Elective History. something's gone wrong with my Geography. no use crying over spilt milk. they always say to picture something you really, really want at the end. how does that work out if you don't know what you want, or no longer want anything?

"Hey... Jaded
You've got your mama's style
But you're yesterday's child to me
So Jaded
You think that's where it's at
But is that where it's supposed to be
You're gettin' it all over me
X-rated

My my baby blue
Yeah I been thinkin' 'bout you
My my baby blue
Yeah you're so Jaded
And I'm the one that Jaded you

Hey... Jaded
In all it's misery
It will always be what I love... and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side
We're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be Jaded"

- "Jaded", Aerosmith