some kind of beautiful

conversations are supposed to lag once every seven minutes. however, in my experience seven seconds are usually more than enough.

something's happened. or something's happening. i prefer staying on campus and in studio instead of going home, or getting another life in addition to Music, Television, the Internet, School, Movies, Money, Home and Family. or trying to make or keep friends. it shouldn't be this hard. i'm letting go, i don't want to try any more, i don't want to make the effort, i don't want to be monosyllabically placated. it's quite simple: you either are, or you're not. no amount of hiedstatt chocolate cake, sweet secrets' chocolate royale cake, black-eyed peas singles, gershwin broadway musicals, abysmal dinners at olio bites, weird drinks mixed with vermouth and bombay sapphire or lime in a martini shaker, canadian pizza, homecooked pasta, big ben's pies, absolut currant at seoul garden, thomas paine's common senses, huge pink gloomy bears, linkin park records, jet records, the ataris records, colin raye records, apples in stereo records, leather-bound diaries from bookbinders, guess watches, dkny watches, french phrasebooks, brown nobleman shirts, anna sui's dolly girls, hugo boss's boss in motion with deoderant and lacoste toiletries thrown in, ... and i'm out.

it probably happened when i turned right to exit the station in the direction of the library before i even could think to think about detouring left like i always do. like i used to do.

and, i know, this isn't going to stop me from giving or taking anything like what's above. but when i do it in the future, it's not going to guarantee that i mean something, care about it, care about you, even like you.

because, as i've said before, you either are or you aren't. if you don't like to wear your heart on your sleeve, you can't blame people for not noticing its intentions, or that it's even there.

i'm starting to become afraid of virigina woolf.

oh, and the beach was a bitch to watch. this should teach me to watch something because guillaume canet was in it, and it can't be that bad if he accepted a role in it, can it?