Love Monkey, p70 & p224

"My hair is long and wild, which gives me the quality of a rock and roller, or possibly a lone gunman. But I'm working it with the outfit: checked brown houndstooth jacket with taupe--"taupe," another term I picked out from girls, along with "sage" and "celadon"--shirt and solid tie of royal blue. Yes, I wear a jacket most of the time. Gives me the illusion of shoulders. Surgical shoulder implants: could be huge. I've got the cool black pants, the polished Kenneth Coles. At some point in my late twenties I discovered: whatever else we may have going for us, all guys are subjected to immediate disqualification by reason of footwear."

"Fourteen minutes later I tear the game out of my hands with pangs of regret--I'm convinced that tonight I have a shot at beating Bran's best score--and dress in three minutes (Out come the Banana Republic shirt in a darkish shade of blue, the Banana Republic pants in black, the Banana Republic shoes in black. When the pollsters call to ask about my party affiliation, I will answer: Banana Republican.) Then I'm dashing down the street just like I did when I was a kid: always late. Except now I don't have to allow time to lock up my bike."