an incident involving an accident, automobile or otherwise

it's 10:45 AM.

my first O Level exam [barring the cheenese one] begins in one hour and forty-five minutes.

i cannot for the life of me find my entry proof.

my identification is safely tucked away in the family safe, to which i have no access.

isn't life interesting?

"Do we look like a car crash?
Baby tell me it ain't true
Cause if we look like a car crash
I don't know what the hell I'd do"

- "Car Crash", The Thrills

it's a drag, i know it's hard, but you're tearing her apart

breaking news: the world has has gone off its rocker.

oh, have we done that story already?

well, it has, anyway. people are:
-assasinating other people in their dreams [please do not tell me that 'white family sedan' was a Nissan Sunny. i WILL freak out],
-really, really, really missing the non-hallowed, brand-spanking new, smelling-like-money halls of Victoria School,

plus:
-my entire 'family' [mother, brother, sister, sister] is watching Harry Potter & The Scorcerer's Stone on HBO [of which my mother argued three months' free subscription out of StarHub CableTV], and they are loving it,
-no-one understands the brilliance of British literature [which is, incidentally, about all i'm reading now],
-the fucking irritating 'chihuahua' and 'i'm lovin' it' ads are still playing,
-people left-and-right are harping on about the Nokia N-Gage, but [thankfully] next-to-no-one is actually buying it,
-the next step in Sony Ericsson's Nokian-ness has been realized: the T630 is a T610 in new clothes and the TFT [as opposed to STN] screen is about all the major improvement over the T610
*there are people in this world naïve enough to believe that Hwa Chong Junior College would provide a shuttle bus service to Raffles Junior College
*there are also people in this world naïve enough to believe that giving out NeWater, stale copies of Seventeen and rocks with 'Geography' emblazoned in glitter on it will convince or even encourage other people to join their college/subject/cause
-i need a camera, now. later, it won't be of use any more

please note that points marked with an asterisk were gleaned from reading someone else's blog. i am not the kind of person who goes to an open house, be it a junior college's or otherwise. if you seriously thought i was there, schelping amogst the sad folk who've entered said college and had their hopes, dreams and preconceptions smashed AND the pre-college people who still have and hold the above-mentioned hopes, dreams and preconceptions, Who Are You And What Are You Doing Reading My Blog?

there is a reason why Nicholas Tan is the sole being of my acquaintance who isn't family and yet has my home phone number. my idiot of a brother gave it out to him. why? because he harrased my brother on his mobile, and the only reason why nicholas has my brother's mobile number is because i had to use his line when my own line got cut off, because my mother refused to pay my father's $600 worth of overseas calls on my line.

Vital Information For Your Everyday Life: when someone either repeatedly doesn't answer his mobile or continually presses the NO button on his Ericsson, hence rejecting your call, he Really, Really, Really doesn't want to talk to you. if you think that obtaining his home number and bagering him on that end will assist your effort to no end, then you're not that bright, are you?

it's the 2003 GCE 'O' Level' Physics Practical Examination tomorrow.

no, it hasn't set in yet.

yes, i will be like that for years to come.

"I'm afraid that there's much to be afraid of
Here today
And gone tomorrow
Don't end up in the gutter
Just like the one before
You're just the same
Such a loser

One mistake's all it takes
And your life has come undone
Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl
It's a drag
I know it's hard
But you're tearing her apart
Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl"

- "Breaking Up The Girl", Garbage

bad chihuahua. bad, bad chihuahua.

this entry took so long to get to print because, right after writing it, i thumbed through my archives and didn't feel like posting it anymore. however, now, unlike then, i'm on yet another Starbucks Double-Shot Expresso.

news to me:

- Matt watches soccer
- 'chihuahua' is supposedly a legitimate basis on which to write a song, and following that, an entire ad campaign for a world-renowned and maybe respected brand of cola
- Jessica Simpson can't differentiate chicken and fish, and wonders which catergory tuna falls under
- Lene Nystrom likes Linkin Park and names them as part of her inspiration
- Hillary Duff supposedly can sing
+ Shirley Manson will give away an award at the MTV European Music Awards
- but Christina Aguilera will be hosting it
- Chris Martin is dating Gywneth Paltrow
-- she supposedly will sing on Coldplay's third album
+ MTV Whatever Things actually has some rather good gags
- but they play some rather crappy videos in between
+ Nokia realizes its mistake with the oddly-keypadded 3650 and is releasing the new 3660 with a new 65 536-color screen and a normal keypad
- but the new keypad is squeezed back into the same circular shape and thus looks even worse
-- Nokia's new 7600 is a freak of a teardrop/leaf/coaster/slice of bread 3G phone
+ it's also a good means with which to laugh at Nokia


as above: the world has gone off its rocker. matt and pat have had some rift form between them, but continue to horse around in class, one chasing the other, holding hands, etc. i suspect it's all a farce, but whether it's for fooling the general public or fooling themselves is beyond me.

reading the old entries in my blog makes me wanna cry. that's partly why the link to the archives still read 'coming soon' for now - i can't seem to get them organized, re-reading instead of sorting them. aren't you supposed to look back at old diary/journal/blog entries and laugh?

i have betrayed my Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf loyalty and discovered the Starbucks Double Shot Expresso. five bucks of coffee squeezed into a small, dinky, little plastic cup, basically prescription-free, temporary prozac. if you don't believe me there are people who were at the post-prelim-pre-O-Level Physics Practial that have witnessed its effects.

Happy Aaron: As Rare As A Garbage Fan In Singapore

i just went to see my grandfather today [Lim side], the first time since his bypass operation. he looked frail, old and skinny. the scars of his operation looked painful. it's good he made it, after weeks of the ICU, but is he really happy to be? his blood sugar levels have risen since, and he now needs insulin injections three times daily, which my maid travels out to Ang Mo Kio for, because my uncle and aunt-in-law work, and my grandmother isn't really the best person to be giving away insulin injections. plus my maid is a trained nurse [or nurse's aide. can't remember which].

on the Khoo side of the family, my other grandfather [92 years old as of Febuary], is not in the pink of health either. having slipped and fallen recently, his left arm is still in a sling, and he can just barely feed himself. he really wants to see his favorite son, which happens to be my dear and loving father, and we haven't seen him since he returned from Cheena at the start of the SARS scare [roughly end-April/May].

if a repeat of what happened when my grandmother passed away occurs, this time i won't forgive him. years ago, when she was about to pass on, my first aunt called my mother to get us to go see him, but our dear father was doing [likely illegal/underhand/unscruplous] business in Malaysia. the second time she called, my father wasn't feeling well. when my father finally called them back, it was my second aunt [the handicapped one] who picked up, and she was kept in the dark because she's extremely emotional. so, my father was told that grandmother was fine. seeing no need to see his own mother if she didn't appear to be dying, the bastard fucked off to go do his own thing.

that night, my grandmother who had been sitting in her chair facing the door, waiting and hoping for her favorite son to show up, asked about my father. by then my first aunt was so angry with my father that he just told my grandmother not to wait for him; he's not coming.

that night, she passed away. when we were called and informed, my father whisked us away from our Shaik Madersah Lane to their Geylang Lorong 3 in the Mazda 323 Astina, arrived at the scene and promotly kneeled by my grandmother's side, making what i thought at that time was, and actually still do, a big show of crying and shouting, likely blaming my aunt for not telling him earlier.

the young primary-school me sat in silence on my aunt's bed in the same room, looking sadly at my grandmother's body. my three siblings, too young to understand the goings-on, nevertheless sat quietly next to me, looking out the window, up at the ceiling, down on the floor.

needless to say, my first aunt, whom my grandparents ignored [compared to the whims, money, BMWs and Porsches lavished on my father], and who had to find her own means of sending herself to England to study, but loved/loves them, never forgave my father, and, rightly, still hasn't.

i don't think my father's going to make it this time, either.

"He said I'm going to buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside my baby watch the orange glow
Some'll laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why
So I'm going to buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm going to buy this place, that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

And honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on

So meet me by the bridge, meet me by the lane
When am I going to see that pretty face again
Meet me on the road, meet me where I said
Blame it all upon
A rush of blood to the head"

- "A Rush Of Blood To The Head", Coldplay

oh it's healing - bang bang bang

today, after/because of the EMath exam, i felt like such a pile of shit that i walked from school to the Marine Parade Community Library before climbing on a bus home, because i guessed, correctly, no-one in a right state of mind would do the same.

"'cause you're the storm that I've been needing
and all this peace has been deceiving
I need some wind to get me sailing
so it's the storm that I believe in

you fill my heart, you keep me breathing
'cause you're the storm that I believe in

and if you want me I'm your country"

- "You're The Storm", The Cardigans

all hail the t-six-ten

SonyEricsson's found its breakthrough phone.

i won't buy a T610, unlike khooky, my two aunts and soon my brother, not because it's a bad phone, but because it's Nokian. this may very well be the biggest reason why it's so popular, but Sony's trashed exactly what i like about Ericsson. they've taken away the Yes/No interface on the higher-end models, making it that much more inefficent because they now need a Back key and can't have the Option key anymore, so they need to instate Nokian soft keys. the sum of the T610's parts is greater than the whole because the glue [interface] that holds them together has gone bad. they've yet to come up with a phone that i consider an upgrade to my T68m, hence i declined my mom's offer to upgrade my phone, passing the oppotunity to my brother.

it seems that Nokia really does rule the world. and we all know that those who rule, or are bent on ruling, the world are mostly evil.

one more thing, before i go to sleep. why do people put shit like "no mood to talk, prelims now" onto their blogs? i see entries reduced to one line, i see paras of mindless text. if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything.

"come and conquer and drop your bombs
cross my borders and kill the calm
bear your fangs and burn my wings
I hear bullets singing

and if you want me I’m your country
if you win me I’m forever - oh yeah!"

- "You're The Storm", The Cardigans

under the influence

the Khoo family has been partially disabled by the influenza virus.

somehow my mom came home one day last week coughing away, and younger of my two sisters promptly ran a fever of SARS-like porportions, sneezing away and wrapping herself in a blanket, sitting on the living room couch, staring blankly at the TV.

of course, i caught it from her, not realizing that i was especially tired and that my nose was running something fierce until after my physics exam, when i kept wiping my nose off the back my hand on the bus. don't retch. i do not carry tissues with me unless i am aware that i am not feeling well, and sitting on board an SBS Transit bus with mucus pooling on my upper lip was more of an evil than wiping it off the back of my hand.

so i went home, felt depressed, moaned, groaned and bitched about how i was feeling, took flu and vitamin C tablets, then went along for maths tuition which i desperately needed, impaired hearing [i was going "huh?" and "what?" the whole day] and lethargy or otherwise.

it was a horrible experience, because i scarcely got anything out of it, only managing to ask questions and try to memorize some formulae.

let me tell you that attending a Combined Khooky class is much more fun than staying in bed, unable to sleep. it doesn't help that when i try to do anything productive otherwise, because you're too tired to. this was proven by my falling asleep at my books, my couch, and my keyboard. if you think that's funny, than wait till it happens to you, and you end with painful prints of keys on your forehead and blocks of rubbish characters sent over to whoever you were talking to online.

"I’m an angel bored like hell
and you're a devil meaning well
you steal my lines and you strike me dumb
come raise your flag upon me

and if you want me I'm your country
if you win me I’m forever - oh yeah!"

- "You're The Storm", The Cardigans

never cried any, anyway

toyed with the idea of getting really hammered this evening.

didn't work out as planned. i've seen people drunk, and i'm nothing like that. last time i drank Hooch, i just became very serene, sitting on the couch as i watched the pricks that came around to my sister's birthday party mess up the apartment and get the floor all wet, creating a ruckus and too much noise. i just dropped everything i was picking up, snapped a bottle open without hesistation and just gulped it down.

there were people [sister's guests] younger than me, sitting in the corridor, sipping Hooches and Reefs, anyway. i still have that first all-to-myself bottle on my bedroom shelf.

didn't work out tonight. i got not much of a response from the one person worth telling who was online, and the rest were either snoozing or have blocked me. it's come to the point where i both care too much and not at all anymore.

three people i know recently got a SonyEricsson T610: Khooky, my aunt Esther and my aunt Jacq. Khooky i know made the [i hope] informed decision to buy his T610 in Abyss Blue instead of the dime-a-dozen Aluminium Haze, hopefully both my aunts were similarly inspired. and if it all goes to plan, my brother will trade in his Nokia 7250 [trade-in value $400] for a T610. right now i'm not sure what to make of my brother potentially having a better mobile than me.

more additions to our apartment: two Toshiba home theater systems [one for my mom's bedroom. can you say "overkill"?] and one 21" Toshiba flat-screen TV, to replace the 14" Thomson Life previously taking pride of place in my mom's room. the amazing thing about the Toshiba is that it has FOUR [4] speakers, but only MONO sound. and it doesn't even have teletext.

the Panasonic stereo system has been moved into my room, so i can now sleep to A Rush Of Blood To The Head played crisply over proper speakers, instead of blasting it through my tinny Sony backphones.

incidentally, Matt's two-hour-late decision [i waited for his opinion before buying. the CD store closed before i got there, in the end. non-instantaneous gratification sucks] of Coldplay over Robbie Williams when i texted him regarding a new CD purchase has led me to my decision to add Coldplay to my 'like' list. now it's Garbage, Coldplay, The Cardigans, The Cardigans pushed to third because i haven't actually bought any of their albums.

khooky's combined class today was interesting. sitting roughly between Matt and Khooky during such an event is like watching a good tennis match. swivelling eyballs abound, with the occasional snapping head. Mr Kenneth Wee [or KeWee as he is fondly called] just tells the class "don't listen to Matthias" and moves along. not very entertaining.

i probably got more out of those four hours than the entire week gone past.

i just got an IBM ThinkPad TransNote, but lack the means to charge it up, let alone boot it up. if anyone has a spare ThinkPad power adaptor...

i still want to go watch Down With Love. i'm just not ready to admit to myself that i'm sad enough to go watch a film alone, and being prelim time, i doubt anyone's gonna come along anyway.

my grandfather [mom's side] is still in the TTSH ICU, and i hear the success rate of a heart bypass operation is anyone's guess. the other grandfather's 93 years old. he's not around for much longer - recently fell ill a couple of times. however, his son isn't coming back to see him [for the last time?]

all this, right here, right now. somewhere, someone's going "if you had friends/if you were nicer to people ... "

what good will friends do now?

"I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

Can't find it in the bible
Can't find it on TV
Can't find it in diamonds
There's something inside me that just won't allow me to
Find it in music
Can't find it in my soul
Can't find it in chocolate
Oh babe I can't hide it
I can't even find it in you

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

There's no way she can kiss you
The way that I do
I heard that you miss me
Oh you should be careful of who you keep talking to
Long nights without you have taught me to be strong
I've cut all my losses
Think no more about it 'cause I couldn't find it in you

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

There was a time I thought I'd die
If you should ever leave me high and dry
Now you don't want me any more
It's time to settle the score

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my tether
I've torn all your letters up
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my rope
And it's time that I told you so
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore"

- "Can't Cry These Tears", Garbage

strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling

[it's finally over]

my beloved family is now in possesion of three refrigerators.

one Sharp 3-door fridge, with seperate Freezer, Cooler and Crisper compartments, purchased in 1997 as a housewarming gift from my first aunt [father's side] for the Toa Payoh flat.
one Toshiba bar fridge, with combined Freezer, Cooler and Crisper compartments and Gravity Control system for the Healthy Cool cold water dispenser, purchased in 2003 with a discount from my fourth aunt [mother's side], who works for Best Denki.
one Akira wine cooler, with glass door, purchased in 2003, discount deemed unneccesary due to odious cheapness of product, but obtained anyway.

who needs three fridges? our wine is of the piss-water variety, and you don't cool bottles of XO, VSOP and Louis the 13th whatnot. i appreciate the cold water dispenser, but i have a bladder bigger than the three liters the water tank provides for. when she screams about the power bill next month, i'll consider smashing the Akira's glass door in.

i found a few 'i hate khoo kayyong' webpages while being bored online yesterday. coincidentally, most are also 'i hate matthias chew' webpages. also, one or two imply/outright declare matt and khooky homosexual dogs. hilarious reading.

while khooky is not having an allergic reaction to Teachers' Day, i certainly am. couldn't get my mask on this morning, and so i didn't get out of bed. i wasn't sure i wanted to witness the Shiny Happy People 2002 Edition make their inaugural pilgrimage from VJC to VS, considering it's enough of an effort to watch them head off into VJC land evey bloody morning, while on the last leg of your hour-long epic journey from Chuan Park to 2 Siglap Link, on board a crappy Mercedes bus emptied of its malicous payload of giggly, noisy, bitchy, dyky secondary and tertiary schoolgirls, listening to Garbage remind you that you should have, shouldn't have.

/don't end up in the gutter/just like the one before you/you're just the same/such a loser/

one of them contacted me later in the afternoon, asking if i saw the whole throng of us in vs today?

i had my mask on by then, so i didn't tell him to fuck off.

i did, however, tell Nicholas to fuck off, because he would not stop bugging me about whatever shit happened for Teachers' Day. i cannot be less concerned about the half-attempt to entertain all and sundry [teachers, students, liquorice allsorts] in school for the 'celebrations'. it probably worked out, which is what disgusts/disappoints me.

i tried to watch Chicago, but i got put off by the middle of the first song, All That Jazz, because Matthias has a habit of performing and dancing to songs from Chicago [we have the avi clips to prove it], and the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones was continuosly morphing into Matt gyrating. she had a bad haircut in that movie anyway.

watching About A Boy on the 37-inch Sharp Aquos? good.
watching the MTV Video Music Awards on the same 37-inch Sharp Aquos, Christina Aguilera's 'Dirrrty' blown up in the LCD flat-panel's attempt at making her look not-so-thrashy, trampish song over the SRS-enhanced audio feed? not so good.

the same videos, repeated over and over again, were consistently nominated for most of the awards. 50 cent bagged three 'spacemen' for In Da Club.

interestingly, though, The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army was nominated for Best Rock Video. unsurprisingly/expectedly, it lost out to Linkin Park's Somewhere I Belong, which mostly consisted of much CGI and a bed in flames.

for this, they pre-empt VH1? plus, i missed what looked like the opening, with Britney Spears and Chirstina Aguilera camping it up in thrashy bridal gowns, covering Madonna's Like A Virgin, Madonna herself popping up after the 'duet', singing a remixed Hollywood.

why is this interesting to me? the Hollywood remix sounded good, and the whole scene confirmed that BS and CA really hate each others' guts. this is the, what, fifth time they've done a duet? it's like the Mariah Carey/Whitney Houston When You Believe scenario, except MC and WH had the prudence to make it a one night stand. plus, CA is doing a tour with BS's ex, Justin Timberlake [which Avril Lavinge mispronouced, on purpose i hope, as Justin Timberlass].

the silver lining of this dark cloud: there isn't one.

isn't this where i show a distasteful disregard for cliché and sign off with "good-bye, [cruel?] world"?

haha.

"Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me"

- "Kiss Me", Sixpence None The Richer

Part Number P10293U - Palm™ Tungsten™ T Stylus 3-Pack - S$27.84

i've lost another stylus. my appetite for these shiny metal sticks is costing me an orange Yusof Ishak each time i lose one. it's the second one since i got my TT in march.

Khooky's fun when drugged. he just sits there, smiling to himself and looking dazed, like Matt on a good day. apparently he wasn't feeling well, and five seconds into his class i knew he was drugged. allergic reaction to Teachers' Day?

i will be scrounging around for my stylus if anyone needs me. [unlikely, that]

"Burn down all your idols
Destroy your idols
Create a scene
There goes all your reason
It's helter skelter
It's not a dream

Come down from the altar
Remove your blindfold
What do you see
Nothing left to do here
There's nothing new here
It's all the same

You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?"

- "Subhuman", Garbage

Blue-Gray Billabong Wallet

i'm back on the tracks again. they had my wallet! it took some doing, because i couldn't properly describe 'Blue-Gray Billabong Wallet' in Cheenese, and the staff at the interchange, predictably, didn't understand much English. the person in charge of the interchange was very kind, though, and he told me i was very lucky.

why am i very lucky and not just 'lucky'? because Service 105 passes through Orchard Boulevard between Toa Payoh and Jurong East. why, i do  not know, but imagine this scenario:  Heeren Shops/Orchard Cineplex/Linkin Park/Metallica/Stussy/77th Street poseur boards Service 105 at Orchard Boulevard. finds a Blue-Gray Billabong Wallet with $103 in it. the rest, including my wallet, is history.

thank you, whichever bus captain returned my wallet. i thought i'd lost it forever, but what you did made my day.

"Music stations always play the same songs
I'm bored with the concept of right and wrong

Everybody comes to Hollywood
They wanna make it in the neighbourhood
They like the smell of it in Hollywood
How could it hurt you when it looks so good?"

- "Hollywood", Madonna

Did You Know...

...that it takes SBS Transit Service 105 one-and-a-half hours to get to Jurong East Interchange from Toa Payoh?

where do i find the time to sit down in front of my PC and wax lyrical about SBS Transit's inefficency, you ask?

that's because i'm not. i'm, right now, at 09:48pm, hurtling towards Raffles Place Interchange in a metal cylinder, underground, to Transfer To A East-Bound Train heading for Jurong East, where my wallet is currently being held, writing this entry on my Tungsten T.

why? because i dropped my wallet on the bus while going to tuition.

losing your wallet is hell. see, if i lose my Ericsson, i can just buy another. my contacts are backedup on my Palm. if i lose my Palm, i can just buy another. my data is backed up on my PC. but if i lose my wallet, my cash, my Student Identification Pass, my IC, my Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf drink card with 10 stamps, my library receipts, they're not backed up anywhere. you can't HotSync your cash and IC back into your new Billabong/Braun Buffel/etc wallet. you can't resend your SIP via a Bluetooth connection.

hence, i'm losing two hours' sleep, spending the time heading to Jurong East to get my wallet tonight, mainly because it will be handed over the police after 24 hours of receipt, as my wallet contains a sizable chunk of change.

"You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?"

- "Subhuman", Garbage

hare hare krishna

i've finally manged to get Subhuman by Garbage. the song's rare because there were only 5000 copies of the 'single' [it's not a bona-fide single, because Subhuman isn't on any of their albums] made. thank you, MPEG Layer 3. Subhuman is every bit the lyrics promised. plus i now share Joycelyn Yik's view that Garbage's b-sides, unlike most other groups, are equally good if not better than their singles.

i've spent the day turning down invites, including my mom's for lunch. she's now at some pub, drinking beer and watching the EPL. somehow i feel my mom would have a much better time in my place, as a secondary school boy. i've sorted out too many Blaster, Welchia and Sobig viruses problems, some of them other peoples' problems, and done too little in other departments.

Full Frontal is an excellent movie. The Guru is hilarious. Chicken Rice War is the best homegrown movie made, knocking Forever Fever to second. Home Run is a ridiculous, heart-wrenching waste of time. i want to go watch Down With Love and Freaky Friday, but who with?

physics preliminary practical examination tomorrow, and no calcuator. i've never wanted any Casio this much, if ever at all. however, in the process of wanting one, i've learned that Jonathan Dax and Hongxuan need one as well, but not for tomorrow like i do. how this helps is unclear, but it's interesting all the same.

does my future bank on Casio? wish me luck.

"Hare Hare Krishna
Was that your sister
A cover girl
A wasted prima donna
She lost her way here
She disappeared

Come back to your altar
And build a fire
It's getting cold
Nothing stops you in here
There's not a soul here
You're all alone

You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?"

- "Subhuman", Garbage

never send a substitute to do your job

i got a C6 for my Cheenese O Level Exam, with a Merit in the oral component. exactly the same as I managed last year. i not ecstatic, but it's more than i can say for some people. since the HOD was away on a trip to Cheena, the subject head took over. he gleaned zero respect from the students as he attempted to reprimand them, and i almost felt sorry for the bugger. almost.

i'm retaking the exam. no point in not retaking, and having that much free time in the library would possibly make me rip my brains out. don't get me wrong, i appreciate the free time, but too much sitting there, listening to inane conversation from those not retaking and other assorted allsorts [it's like they're trying Really Hard to convince me that they're all female poseurs], re-reading what i've read, etc. plus the lower secondary runts are noisy, and all they do is get in your way. i once had to literally drag five runts out of my way when going up the staircase for Khooky's class.

however, i now realize that retaking the exam costs more then the $17 [or so i'm told] that i have to pay as exam fees. a part of my sanity goes along with that seventeen bucks, as i sit in Cheenese class, doing unhelpful compos, unhelpful workbook excersises and unhelpful lessons, remediation or otherwise. they forced us to stay back for remedial classes last term. did it help? why would it now?

i'm beginning to get home later and later these days, be it for school or tuition or other crap like dropping off my Sony/Palm/Ericsson for service, and in the interests of sleep, i rarely do anything else when i get back to my house in the dark weekday night, except for eating and showering. how un-depressing.

in other news, more people than i originally thought block me on their MSN Messenger Contact Lists. hmm. so much for All Things Remaining Constant.

"If we sleep together
Will you like me better
If we come together
We'll go down forever
If we sleep together
Will I like you better
If we come together
Prove it now or never

Make me a pretty person
Make me feel like I belong
Make me hard and make me happy
Make me beautiful

The emptiness
The craziness
Satisfy this hungriness
Darling
How would it feel?"

- "Sleep Together", Garbage

"Attention students: the school is now officially on fire. Please begin your Emergency Evacuation Procedure now. Repeat: the school is now..."

[Blogger has a character limit on post titles. the original title read as follows:

"Attention students: the school is now officially on fire. Please begin your Emergency Evacuation Procedure now. Repeat: the school  is now officially on fire. Please evacuate. Thank you."]

Received : Friday, 15th August 2003 06:33 am
From  : omanager@slss.edumin.co.sg
To  : allstaff@slss.edumin.co.sg
Re  : Today's Emergency Exercise

Hi all

As you are all doubtlessly aware by now, there will today be an Emergency Exercise at 11:30 am, sharp. Teachers, I understand that you have a tight schedule to run [especially with SARS affecting us this year], but please allow the students to leave the classroom when the announcement is made. Please make sure, though, that the students evacuate only after the verbal announcement and not immediately after the emergency siren.

Most of you have been briefed about this exercise already, but in case you weren't at the meeting yesterday evening, I mentioned that I have had some equerries from teachers on gate duty at the carpark, regarding their exact duties. For you teachers, your duty is simply to shut and man the gates during the exercise. This way, we will be able to block vehicular access to the school and prevent students from escaping, all while the school is 'on fire'. I'm particulary proud of this last stroke of genius by the committee. It is really an effective way of ensuring that the exercise runs efficiently, without un-expected interruptions.

The AV Club has been instructed to prepare a sound system for use in the carpark. I have requested for a larger, louder system, but Miss Kali informs me that this is un-feasable. The I/C will have to make do with whatever it is she comes up with, as the Club's students will be involved in the exercise.

That being all, let's make this a great Emergency Exercise. Remember, in this day and age of un-determinable terrorist attacks and SARS, Drills Save Lives.

--- End Of Message ---

- "Shut Your Mouth", Garbage

the Samsung office

this is the first time i've been near a in PC in 24 hours, and the Internet just got a whole lot emptier.

but first, a sideline [and this's well worth the distraction, too. it's an Aaron Has A Heart moment]. celebrations for my mother's birthday [today] begun [like with Christmas] twelve days ago, with the pubbing and the clubbing and the dining. i'm just thankful that she didn't drag me along. today, i got white lilies delivered for her. they're her favorite flowers, and she loved them. [apparently she got married with white lilies as well - i should know, i was there] i think that one moment when she got them was worth the week-and-a-half's allowance i spent on the flowers.

i had to spend $9.10 on a cab ride to school this morning to avoid tardiness. but to sweeten the ordeal of the morning, i got called in to the P's office, together with Matt and Dax. it was diffcult for the left side of my brain not to point out that there was this [zen/meditation? not for me, but one man's meat...] device spurting out random jungle sounds [much akin to one of the polyphonic ringing tones on the Samsung A800] in his office. the left side was trying hard not to burst out laughing, especially since he kept pausing for the monkey to stop screeching. the right side of my brain took over and responded in those even tones i tend to use when i get really... emotional?

naw. that's not the right word. one doesn't speak in even tones when one is emotional or passionate about something, does one? maybe that says something about what i'm emotional/passionate about [nothing?]. to sum up, here's a lesson in Cause & Effect:

Cause 1 - the P doesn't like the photo of Pat And His Fingers on the homepage of Dax's blog, because he was being vulgar in the Victoria School Uniform. [which i find understandable, believe it or not]
Effect 1 - Free Open Diary screwed up and he can't remove the photo, so he's locked his blog.

Cause 2 - the material on Matt's blog is found to be objectional, for obvious reasons
Effect 2 - all that remains on Matt's blog is one solitary full-stop

Cause 3 - i walked along the seventh-floor linkway.
Effect 3 - Ms Ernie stopped me and quipped that she could get my Billabong duffel bag for seven dollars in Thailand. first person to make me smile all week.

one thing he said really took the piss, though. Ang questioned my comment on Mr Tan and Mr Lai two entries ago. asked if i was, by my comparison, an extremely macho man/person. i told him i couldn't define myself, which was true. but it doesn't take a genius to know that i definitely do not consider myself prime, grade A, alpha-male. i, who hates PE? i, who hates soccer? i, who hates mindless physical exertion [aka "insert sport here"]?

you'd have to know very little about me to think that.

"I never claimed to be your savior
I said I had a dirty mouth
I've got to keep myself together
You know I hate to disappoint
A masochistic lamb to slaughter
Maybe you missed the point

I'm feeling small
I'm climbing the walls
I don't let it show

Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it'd go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb

Maybe I could write a letter
To help me with my self-esteem
You should get to know me better
No one's ever what they seem

I'm feeling small
Climbing the walls
I don't let it show

Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it'd go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb"

- "Dumb", Garbage

whatafish

to the four i had lunch with yesterday: if you thought i was, i wasn't kidding about the anti-depressants.

"When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand"

- "Don't Know Why", Norah Jones

Movie by CLIE

hah. if it's honest responses they want, it's honest responses they'll get. i got called down for the NE Quiz for the third time in five years. it was being run by three female teachers, two complete fairies, and one disgraced fish-cage contractor. i did not accept Mr Tan's explanation that it was a random selection. I Think I'm Paranoid.

i missed the Black Stripes concert [a cleverly-disguised mock UN conference in drag] because:
- i didn't know the when and where
- my mobile line was cut [my father ran up $700+ of charges, and my mom would only pay it with his money]
- my sister was hogging the phone, and i wasn't going to bitch with her to talk to Matthias
- Dax couldn't lend me his Ixus, anyway.

a shot of Hongxuan in his costume, together with an explaination as to why he was/is gay, made me wish i had bothered. i cannot even begin to imagine what Matthias wore, and what he was doing in liason with a cow. plus the fashion/strip show sounded interesting, as per the picture Matthias painted for my benefit.

also, Streats is quickly becoming Singapore's Hello!/The Sun. [Of Monks and Mercs?]

"Victoria principal faces parents' ire - School head Ang Pow Chew defends $200,000 eco-garden, justifies high costs"
- Streats, Front Page, Thursday, July 10, 2003

we got blasted by Mr Ang for that. goodness know what it had to do with us, except to provide entertainment. plus, today's Streats published a comment by Lee Han Shi, which makes direct, personal digs at Mr Ang. this is how you sell papers. this is how you get my attention. not with some twins' death, or some device that converts piss and shit into water.

Khooky seems to be having fun with having his own classroom. besides the "Land Mines Are Not Toys" posters [i'm all for people not killing themsleves with discarded lands mines and cluster bombs, but do they really need huge posters that look to me to be saying "NO" in whatever language they're in? aren't they a bit patronizing? wait, hold that thought. yeah, the posters fit Khooky very well.], there are now Mao-era posters no doubt framed with 50x70cm IKEA RAKET frames, and

- "Hollywood", Madonna

snotty, shitty, five-year-old

i am in the fucking-thirteenth-level-of-taoist-hell. my sister is having a birthday party, and this boy, one of the snotty, shitty, five-year-old classmates of hers, has a SonyEricsson P800.

fucking bastard. and what the hell is he doing with the Symbian UI OS? drawing happy fun scrawlings on his equally-snotty-shitty-five-year-old-friends' photographs, taken with the built-in VGA-resolution digital camera.

i will likely report on the better half of my day [including Ms Ernie's wedding], when i have backed down from:

A - the emergency vasectomy session
B - the mirgrane caused by ten screaming kids whom i would LOVE to murder
C - the window-ledge of my thriteenth-floor Chuan Park Type A Luxurious Condominium [Special Offer - one month only - 17 parking lots ONLY $1]

"I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I came to shut you up
I came to suck you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart"

- "Vow", Garbage

shut up, you annoying little poseur, Part II

i had to go out into the world and help people today. yech. i had to schelp into poor people's territory, where schools like Bedok View Secondary were a literal stone's throw away. it was funny watching the poor. some didn't even have doorbells on their doors. i gave up the idea of asking people for donations and just carried stuff, lest i break out into delirious laughter at the so wonderfully retro time machine we've unconvered in Bedok South Avenue 3. i even managed to get a glimsp of intra-family backstabbing. see, Bedok View Secondary School was scheduled to do exactly the same thing [collect old newspapers, clothes, etc] four days from today. their operation, apparently, is approved by the police and their town council. i was sniggering away after i read they notice posted at the first lift lobby we were at. my group shamelessly solicited donations from a flat which we all saw a Bedok View Seocndary student walk into. the poor bugger looked on helplessly as his father gave away the donations of canned food, old clothes and newpapers. he even had the letter we spammed their mailboxes with. i had to laugh and laugh and laugh.

there was a PAP Community Federation right next to the blocks our class was doing. this, combined with the MOTOMORPH bus that we got onto to get there, was prime teaser material against Matt. however i made no more than a few lame attempts. wasn't really in the mood, and it wasn't helped by the anti-drug and pro-family crap they tried to push onto me at school. yech. maybe i should start the anti-depressants like my doctor recommended after all.

later, when a groups of us marched towards civilization, we were accosted in the Tanah Merah MRT toliet. this American kid pulled something i assume to be straight out of Jackass: The Movie. thankfully, i had watched clips on MTV, and went along with it.

Nick thought i knew him.

Alvin thought he was insane.

if there's one thing i've learnt from my tuition teacher, it's to avoid provoking the insane. hmm. i think i should work for Mammon Inc.

- "The Rafters", Moby

shut up, you annoying little poseur.

it's cute when stupid people are angry.

look at Matt's blog, that letter from Linkin Park Land

then, tell me: is this the kind of student we are trying to bring into the real world?

sends letters to oneself, speaks the ubiquitous mother tongue of the sk8ter bois, and is the prefect Victorian. that means he's been blindly conned into the idealism of being a gentlemen, professional and sportsman. sheep. baa-bloody-baa. does he use a Nokia too? i assume the typical 8250. 8310? 6510? [nah, too tasteful, even for a Nokia]. he's the exact type of human being that my father depends on to make his huge profit on his illegal gambling business in Paupa New Guinea [incidentally, neither of my parents are grateful to the government. my father evident isn't/cannot be, and my mom always votes opposition at the GEs, and railed endlessly at the PAP as they drove past in their lorry in the recent one, because the consituency we were in at the time experienced a walkover. she also hollered at me when i brought up a PAP poster/banner thing, which i did for a lark]

one thing: how many Brians could Matt possibly have?

i think i'll print the letter out, annotate it in red marker, and then scan it back in on my CanoScan [oh! i have my scanner set up! how about that?], after which it goes onto the internet. i'm not giving up such a good oppotunity to laugh at the stupid and lift my spirits.

hey, wait, i'd love some hate mail too: garbage@singnet.com.sg don't bother with the porn and spam. i get enough of it, what with my dictionary-word userID.

postscript: after a harrowing conversation, i decieded to remove this entry. however, 5 seconds later, after re-reading it, i changed my mind. Matt, what do you expect of me? NiceAaron? of course you get AaronTechBitch. so does everyone else.

"I know how to hurt
I know how to heal
I know what to show
And what to conceal

I know when to talk
And I know when to touch
No one ever died from wanting too much

The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love"

- "The World Is Not Enough", Garbage