stupid fucking newspapers

that Tolkien fella must be turning in his grave. if he's dead. is he dead? whatever. i can't really be arsed if the bugger responsible for over ten hours' worth of yawn is dead or not. [!!! anti-LOTR-er!!! shock! horror!]

ANYWAY. did you know that Enya is on the soundtrack for Return Of The King? i was watching VH1 Video Collection, and the entire screen lit up with Frodo And His Motley Crew, mixed in with generous shots of Enya really singing, but looking and sounding like she's humming really loudly.

the promo for Superman by Five For Fighting is disturbing. because it's mostly [too much] of the lead singer and [not so much of] his piano. whoever the lead singer is, he looks creepy.

now that we've nicely sidestepping me having to go into the details of my [still! not! over!] Lunar New Year festivities because a good two-thirds of you are appalled at my opinion of LOTR [!!! anti-LOTR-er!!! again!], here're the real headlines.

FATHER ALLEGDELY WILL RETURN FOR LUNAR NEW YEAR, FIVE DAYS LATE
that's right, Air Niugini flies twice weekly to and from Port Moresby! just because he says he will doesn't mean he will. "you will know if he's really coming back when you see him at the airport" - eyewitness to previous Singapore sighting of Albert Khoo.

SONY ERICSSON Z1010 3G PHONE TOO HUGE
requisite functions all there, but Sony Ericsson's first third-generation phone is just too bulky. about the size of a P800, but shorter. hopefully it just looks big in the photo, but it seems unlikely.

NOKIA 7600 3G PHONE LACKS 3G FUNCTION
a coaster/slice of bread that has the features of a Nokia 7250/3330 but costs twice as much.
-lacks a memory-card slot for expansion [only 29 MB of memory is user-accessible]
-lacks a second camera pointed at the user for video-calls - incapable of video calls anyway
-large, odd shape - roughly the size of a closed Palm Tungsten T
-dialling with one hand will probably prove impossible
-it costs $800 with a $250 trade-in and a two-year contractual period, with no obvious functional advantage over older, cheaper, models. what kind of fool will fall for that? Singaporean fools, that's who

PALMONE SERVICE EFFICIENT, DHL'S RUDE
i received my Palm Tungsten T back from palmOne in half the time they estimated it would take. that's good. the DHL man who delivered it was rude and barely grunted twice to indicate where i should sign. that's bad.

NOKIA 8250 STOLEN WITH ENZER CD PLAYER IN YJC, N-GAGE LEFT UNTOUCHED
fringe story of the week. a Nokia 8250 and sub-$50 Enzer portable CD player were stolen whilst left unattended in a YJC classroom recently. the weird bit is that a Nokia N-Gage, undoubtedly the hippest and trendiest mobile phone available now, was left untouched. is the thief just REALLY STUPID or does he know that the Nokia N-Gage is really a silly excuse for a marketing gimmick and, in his hidden heart of gold, decided not to contribute further to the plague of N-Gages by NOT stealing it and selling it to some two-bit 'handphone' shop in the heartlands?

CHEAP PORSCHE BURNS ALONG ROADSIDE - FEW CARE
a cheap, old, YELLOW, Porsche 911 burns along Braddell Road. tailback cause by thousands who wanted to get the license plate number of the rarity. driver/owner seen in tears by roadside - WAKE UP. it's an UGLY, YELLOW [ YELLOW?! YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD COLOR FOR A PORSCHE?!], fuck-me sports car. it's barely worth more than my mother's Suzuki Swift GL.

"The rear of the 911-model, estimated to be worth less than $40,000 by experts, was still on fire even after 20 minutes of fire-fighting."
- Driver walks away from burning car, Page 3, The Straits Times, January 28, 2004.

HYUNDAI MATRIX WILDLY POPULAR - BUT STILL NASTY
top-selling mini-MPV sold over four thousand units last year - three seen in Chuan Park. success attributed to low cost, in turn the result of the Korean [lack of] quality.

CAR UK's GBU Review

For Is it an MPV?
Against Or a mutated hatchback?
Sum up Priced within special-offer Picasso Territory

rating: 2/5 stars

COUNTLESS SINGAPOREANS CONNED BY LURE OF TOYOTA COROLLA ALTIS
wake up, people. this Thai-built middle-cheapo-class sedan was introduced in Malaysia and Thailand at exactly the same time as the previous Corolla. Borneo Motors/Toyota just assumed that Singaporeans would assume that something must be new, if they haven't seen it before. and it looks like they were right.

GOOD BYE, SEDAN?
from The Straits Times, an article reporting on the absolutely fascinating trend of sedans moving out of the norm, and monospace-design cars moving in.

Newlyweds Calvin Chua, 26 and Jolene, 24, have just booked a Mazda2 hatchback. Mr Chia, an RSAF specialist, said: "I like the way it looks, and its versatility. If you need more space, you just fold the rear seats flat or forward.

"And it has a lot of space. I'm 1.84m and I have no problem with the headroom."

He did not pick a sedan because it was "conventional".

smart idea, you bright spark. but in five years, won't MPV and hatchbacks become the convention? then sedans will become unconventional. then... oh, no. poor Mr Chia has lost his point.

CREATIVE IN MICROSOFT'S GOOD BOOKS - MUCH AKIN TO BEING FRIENDS WITH DEVIL
i have nothing to say about this one. except that the Creative Zen actually looks pretty good, but the whole flaunt-the-Microsoft-nod thing puts me off.

piss off, world. i'm in a mood.

"take, take all you need
and i`ll compensate your greed
with broken hearts
sell, i`ll sell your memories, for 15 pounds per year
but just the good days

say, it'll make you insane
and it's bending the truth
you're to blame
for all the life that you'll lose and
you watch this space
and i'm going all the way
and be my slave to the grave
i'm a priest god never paid

hope, i hope you've seen the light
coz no one really cares
they're just pretending
sell, i`ll sell your memories, for 15 pounds per year
but you can keep the bad days

say, it'll make you insane
and im bending the truth
you're to blame
for all the life that you'll lose and
you watch this space
and i'm going all the way
and be my slave to the grave
i'm the priest god never paid"

- "The Small Print", Muse

fuck off, mr lunar new year.

i'm sick again. i'm allergic to lunar new year, i'm sure of it. it's not some bug that goes around 'that time of year'. LNY is in january this year for fuck's sake. my nose is running, my head's throbbing, my ear's aching, my eyes're itching.

i put Coldplay on at our "reunion" dinner [my father's in PNG. at least the third one he's missed]. i don't think it went down very well, because it got switched to that Kelly Clarkson broad's music halfway through. i don't see how anyone can possibly be Thankful for that record.

visitations later in the morning. ergh.

my Palm's in for service. my Sony Ericsson's on the blink [my Ericsson gave out some time ago, it was my fault though], my CD Walkman's broken.

i feel like crap now. and i missed going back to school because i found out that Victoria School ended at 10 AM, at 11 AM. un-fucking-believable. five years straight they end past noon, now i'm not attending and they end at 10?!

but of course it was too late by the time i found out. i had another half-hour before i would get to school [i guessed that everyone would be long gone by then] and i still had three more stops to make before five PM [errands ]. so i gave up and gave in.

in any case, the only teachers i would have looked up were Mr Hazrin, Mr Khoo, Ms Ernie, Mr Anuar and Mrs Raj. so if you're reading this [tres unlikely], hello.

and i've just realized that it is most likely none of the five people mentioned above hold lunar new year very close to their heart [except for Mr Khoo maybe, but if he does i will be sorely disappointed].

when's the fourth season of Gilmore Girls going to get here? i hate you, MediaCorp.

"Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

And time is on your side
It's on your side now
Not pushing you down
And all around, no
It's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on a bridge, tied to a noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of our secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me"

- "Amsterdam", Coldplay

money is a good thing, only those without it complain' - Adam First, Wave 103 FM

i've just finished indexing my tapes of the second season of Gilmore Girls [snide remarks to me direct, please, they won't do much good being heard by your monitor]. it took way longer than expected. now the mammoth task of re-recording them onto tapes that go "gilmore girls 0201-0203", rather than "ally mcbeal 0521[?], gilmore girls 0222, dharma & greg [unknown]. etc, etc". you get the drift, i hope. but i will not be cutting out the ads. not just because i'm an lazy arse, but also because three-year-old ads can be interesting and even thought-provoking. [plus, if i ever enter the ad industry like i half-intend to, they'll come in handy].

for example: i spied a Deuter ad on one of the Gilmore tapes. what's happened to Deuter? it's been tossed aside in favour of Crumpler. so pooh-pooh and poppycock to those who claimed that their Deuter was the last bag they will ever buy. ten-to-one they've a Crumpler in place of it now. and pooh-pooh/poppycock, too, to those who claim that their Crumpler will be the last bag they'll ever buy. we'll see in three years, buster.

i'll stick with my very, very old Nike messenger bag [recently returned to me after my sister obtained a Topshop graffiti-print bag], thank you.

i am wanting an iBook SE [the old clamshell ones, except the SE comes in graphite].

Cons:
-costs $500 second-hand [without a new battery to replace the worn-out one that comes with it]
-its LCD goes up to a maximum of 800x600 pixels
-mono speaker [note that that's a singular noun]
-only one USB port
-only 366MHz [supposedly OK for an Apple. anw it's only $500]
-128MB RAM [enough, but not quite enough]
-i do not have $500

Pros:
-i checked, finally, and MSN Messenger for Mac DOES have most of the features of the Windows version
-finally MY own PC for MY own use
-it comes with OS X Panther, and a carrying case
-i will FINALLY have a Mac
-i will have something to take notes on if i go to JC/Poly

i NEED to find work. i'm broke. and i owe pat money [although that itself is a result of my family members owning me money].

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither wildly, they slip away
Across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world"

- "Across The Universe", Fiona Apple

fucking hell

my brother is a complete, fucking, no-holds-barred fucktard of a retard. the bloody fool dangled my School Of Rock ticket stubs out the window, and when i tried to grab them back, dropped them. the instant my face contorted into that i-am-now-considering-a-jail-sentence-for-manslaughter look, he immediately went all 'you scratched my thumb, that's why i let go ...' fucking PSLE-171-T-Score-idiot. and, God, i hate those immediate justifications my father's genes gave us.

yes, i keep shit like ticket stubs. do not ask me why. i feel not even my mother has the right to question me on that, so sod-the-bloody-fuck off. that means you too, samantha.

and! i missed the Wong Li-lin gotcha gag. argh! argh-argh-argh!

"99 Kriegsminister
Streichholz und Benzinkanister
Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
Mann, wer haette das gedacht
Dass es einmal soweit kommt
Wegen 99 Luftballons"

- "99 Red Balloons", Goldfinger

the singapore short story project

sitting on the covered toilet bowl, crying my heart out, i realized that if i stayed here and cried for another week, it was unlikely that anyone outside of those who live with me would notice.

it was equally unlikely that the Ericsson lying just a few paces away would ring while i was sitting there, with me having to answer the phone in sobs, the person on the other end asking me if everything's ok. because no one ever calls.

the calendar outside read that it was the fourth day of the twelfth month. one wonders why arguments like this don't happen more often, considering the situation. but it's hell nowadays, and anniversaries, whatever they commemorate, must not mean anything anymore if this kind of shit could happen, with frank disregard for the anniversary that just preceded it. and all over a stolen bicycle.

wake up, starfuck. no-one's going to care. clean up and get the fuck out of the bloody bathroom.

i wrote the above last year. tell me what you think of it. if i become a writer one day, i will fit these paragraphs into one of my books.

i feel absolutely sucky. the number of friends i have [loosely defined as those i see on the MSN Messenger Service regularly and can engage in witty banter with without it feeling weird, as the normal definition if used here will leave me more-or-less friendless. thanks a fat lot, Friendster.] can be counted on the number of fingers i have, possibly with enough fingers left over to fit in my immediate family members.

the last time i saw/went out with human beings outside of my family was mosh.04. the last time before that was my birthday. and the last time before that was the PAE briefing.

and now that almost everyone else has some sort of tertiary institution to head off to on weekdays, i'm left alone at home on said weekdays. the only people i know who aren't going anywhere are Pat and Dax. those who are are Matt [NJC], Xuan [ACJC], Kenneth [Unknown - haven't asked yet, really should soon], etc, even Nick Tan [YJC].

you can only talk about so much with the JC-goers, after all. after asking them how their first day was, you quickly run out of conversation pieces. it's not like you're in the same room and can go 'is that a Nokia Fun Camera?' or 'he's trying to speak French, but je suis means "i am", actually' [goodness knows i already struggle whilst such conversation pieces are right in my face]. you start to wonder if it's all becoming slightly strained, if you should give up.

i've fallen out of the rat race, and it's moving on like i wasn't even there.

i miss school. it gave me somewhere to go every Monday morning. it made me see other human beings and decide if i wanted to attempt a hook-up. it would ironically appear that regimentation is what i crave now, going to school at 6, spending the day raving about other human beings, coming back at 3.

what really, really sucks is that even if i somehow, magically/miraculously woke up tomorrow and discovered that it was really Thursday, 2nd January 2003 and i could go back to Geylang Bahru Lane and take 2003 all over again, i likely would have done the same thing. shunning the person/people that tried to make friends with me, acting the arsehole/bitch, and flunking out term after term. then would come the year end, my seventeenth anniversary of life on Earth, and i would be back here, missing my life in school and the potential friends, and trying desperately to cling/clutch on to half-friends who are leaving my world, with only Two Weeks' Notice.

wake up, starfuck. no JC's going to accept someone with 35.2 points, and you'd better pray hard that you even score within 10 points of polytechnic entry. you've lost it. clean up and move on.

"There is no comprehension
There is real isolation
There is so much destruction
What I want is a celebration

And I know I can feel bad
When I get in a bad mood
And the world can look so sad
Only you make me feel good

I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin

I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin

And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love intention
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel"

- "Love Profusion", Madonna

a good way to go deaf

mosh.04 rocked.

it may not all have been my kind of thing, but it sure as hell started on an excellent note.

but i'm now feeling very guilty for abandoning the mosh crew after arriving at Newton Circle Food Center for supper. i think i snapped when some BBQ stingray tout mistook the three microphone stands i was lugging for a video tripod and mouthed off about us being some sort of project trying to capture the last few hours of 2003 [ordinarily i would have been slightly flattered, but it sounded too much like something my father would have said].

i just suddenly felt very, very tired, and the combination of no sleep, alcohol, no food and Starbucks coffee just kicked in. i decided it was best to flee the scene before i made one.

besides, if xuan's place turned out to be more Yio Chu Kang than Serangoon, i wouldn't have the cab fare left after supper.

i guess it's no use brooding about not sticking it out now, but it appears xuan's place really is walking distance away from my place. shame on me. i mean, eventually i will need to overcome this allergy to the human race of mine. maybe new year's wasn't the best time to try it out.

and i must have come home really looking down dump-wise. everyone knew not to wish me a happy new year.

apologies all round. happy new year.

"Oh no, pop is dead, long live pop
It died an ugly death by back-catalogue
And now you know it gets you nowhere
And now you know, you realize

Oh no, pop is dead, it just gave up
We raised the dead but they won't stand up
And radio has salmonella
And now you know you're gonna die

He left this message for us

So what pop is dead, it's no great loss
So many facelifts, his face flew off
The emperor really has no clothes on
And his skin is peeling off

Oh no, pop is dead, long live pop,
One final line of coke to jack him off
Jack him off

He left this message for us
He left this message for us

He's dead, He's dead, Pop is dead
He's dead, He's dead, Pop is dead
He's dead, He's dead, Pop is dead"

- "Pop Is Dead", Radiohead