it's past four AM in the morning, and i'm wide awake. i can't tell if it's because i can't sleep, or i won't let myself sleep.
Midget [my dog, named after the MG Midget, an iconic British sportscar] is still missing. i sat up in bed for quite a bit just now, crying, feeling abso-sodding-lutely guilty even though it wasn't my fault. where's he sleeping tonight? i don't even know if anyone's taken him in for the night. i don't deserve to be lying on my stomach in bed, tapping this out on my Palm, when he could be lying in a ditch, cold, shivering, trying to find his way home.
i don't think i'll be getting any sleep tonight. if i do fall asleep, i'll wake up crushed with guilt.
in completely unrelated news: i had a weird dream the night before. the dream would be weird even if it were a normal one - i don't dream often, maybe once every few months, occasionally a few times in one week, that's it.
the thing that bothers me is that i can't remember the first half of the dream. all i can recall of it is that it was significant, meaning it meant something important.
in any case, the bit i remember, the second half, involved my Chuan Park apartment being flooded. my family [i cannot remember if my father was there, anyway it's very unlikely that he was] just sat around the house, nonchalant, myself included. then the doorbell rings, and for some reason Mr Khoo is at the door. i let him in and go about my business. he asks to look under my pillow [my bedroom is completely dry, for some reason], and comments on the mess underneath it: hongbaos [those with truly cheena-traditionist families will understand what my hongbaos were doing under my pillow], some of my sketches, my journal/sketchbook, an issue of Car UK, and this chinese watercolor painting of a tiger. on closer inspection [meaning as my view zooms in to show only the painting] the painting appears to have been sent to me by Mr Khoo himself [though nothing on the painting itself betrays that fact, it was something i just suddenly knew].
below the painting of the tiger are several lines of text in the following format: one line of chinese text followed by another line of english text, the english text being the translation of the chinese text.
i look at the translation of the first line of text, and it was something to the effect of: "too bad you were too scared to come back for lunar new year."
and then i wake up. [i was woken by my sister, trying to tell me that the dog's missing]
in the same way i know that the dream painting was sent by Mr Khoo, i know that the text refers to going back to good ol' Victoria School for LNY, but it still doesn't make any sense.
dream interpretation, anyone?
"Bones, sinking like stones
All that we fought for
Homes, places we've grown
All of us are done for
And we live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do, yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
Bones, sinking like stones
All that we fought for
And homes, places we've grown
All of us are done for
And we live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do, yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
Here we go
Here we go
And we live in a beautiful world
Yeah we do, yeah we do
We live in a beautiful world
Oh, all that I know
There's nothing here to run from
'Cause yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on"
- "Don't Panic", Coldplay
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