Wednesday, August 23

white Chocolate

i hate white chocolate. i especially hate white Chocolate. yes, the buttons still light up in red. hi? third-generation iPod, anyone?

wait, has anyone heard of pink Chocolate?
i mean, seriously. this is taking it a bit too far. it's not like it's the RAZR, you know?

from www.stuffmag.co.uk:

"Both have identical specs to the original KG800, which means a 1.3MP cam, 128MB internal storage for tunes and Bluetooth. They also have the red back-lighting which, in combination with the pink paint-job, is making us feel quite ill."



sadly (and you know i'm right here), the pink version will be a big hit. wonderful electric indeed. i fucking hate Verizon for using Goldfrapp to promote the American Chocolate.

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Tuesday, August 22

gold trim

these are socks my mother bought. for me. to wear.

yellow-trimmed ankle socks with the Nike logo stiched in gold thread. yes. this is just in my taste.

isn't it great when mothers and their sons just get each other?

Saturday, August 19

Gilmore Girls 0513 "Wedding Bell Blues"

00:19:25

RICHARD GILMORE:

Psst, psst. Lorelai. I need you to do something.

LORELAI GILMORE:

Ooh, spy voice. Cool.

RICHARD:

Focus, please.

LORELAI:

I am a camera.



00:20:45

LORELAI GILMORE:

Mom, it's a pretend wedding. J.Lo has them all the time!



00:36:50

LOGAN HUNTZBERGER:

It's just... You're special.

RORY GILMORE:

'Stop eating the paste,' special?

Wireless Mighty Mouse

i've been checking The Apple Store (Singapore)'s Wireless Mighty Mouse product page daily, to see when the lovely local agency (iDA) will approve the mouse for sale. today, i wake to check it and the shipping date is now:

Estimated Ship:
3-5 bus. days
Free Shipping


and no more big words in big caps that say SUBJECT TO AGENCY APPROVAL.

yesa. i can order my ultra-expensive, ultra-designer, four-button, scroll-ball, laser-tracking, bluetooth-wireless mouse now. now if only i didn't have to put in a Threadless order on Monday AND THEN wait for people to pay me back.

Friday, August 18

Monday, August 14

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Sunday, August 13

fireworks

i am high as a kite, on decongestant medication and very strong coffee. it is, like, Lorelai Gilmore/Rodney McKay coffee. yes, it is that strong. i exaggerate all the time, so you're just going to have to trust me on this.

this is such a cliché segue into the blog post proper, but yesterday i accompanied my maternal extended family to watch fireworks. alone. sans iPod. i know, it wasn't wise. i know, the fact that none of my siblings were going should have sounded the air raid alarm. i went anyway---my mother was bending my ear and i was sick of wasting airtime having her bend it (the cordless phone still shows no signs of life).

i would like to at least be able to say that i went because my maternal grandfather (who's lost his right foot to diabetes) was going, and since i am now an expert wheelchair driver, it hence helped that i went. but he only decided to go at the last minute (another victim of ear-bending, courtesy of my mother), so that's out since i didn't know he was coming until i was answering yet another call in the back of my aunt's new titanium-grey Mazda3 sedan.

it did help that i went---we changed location three times, and i had to manuver my grandfather across four very busy roads---but it still was an enormous fuss over nothing. fifteen minutes of fireworks, and the entire nation is hard, wet, horny and waiting. tens of thousands upon tens of thousands of Singaporeans descended on the Marina area, from as early as (we guessed) five PM, all in the name of fifteen minutes of color in the sky.

it was, to modify a Chinese saying, a Mount Fuji of people and a Pacific Ocean of cheap, asian cars. families on mats, children singing patriotic National Day songs. people parking in spots strategically blocking every one else on the road. people i considered to be already parked because traffic simply wasn't moving. EMAS signs on the highway saying "MASSIVE JAM ON ALL ROADS TO SUNTEC" when they really should be saying "GO THE FUCK HOME, YOU LOSERS".

and because it was family and friends, i had to keep some sort of smirk smile on my face, at almost all times. the most scathing remark i passed last night were we don't we just charter a helicopter? and it's okay, i don't/didn't want to watch it, i don't like fireworks.

fine, they're colorful, lovely, romantic, etc etc. i get it. but these thousands upon thousands don't seem to realize that the only reason fireworks are so rare is, well, simply because the government said so. each year, all they have to do is deign to set off a few fireworks a couple of times a year, and half the nation eagerly asks, "And how high would Sir like me to jump?"

it's manipulation, and i can't really see the point of it. it took two hours to get into Marina South, and it took two hours to get out of it. one-and-a-half hours in i was calling haniza up every fifteen minutes, swearing like a sailor and insulting everything in my sight that wasn't european or wasn't even a car. this can't be good for the country, generally speaking. though there were many hundred-and-twenty-dollar tickets being given out to windshields and windscreen wipers that evening. there were even traffic policemen simply taking photos of illegally parked cars, presumbably because they've run out of those fancy handheld instant-printout gadgets.

and i don't even like fireworks. i might, if they weren't this precious, precious thing that is precious simply because of an administration's say-so. i might even sit, watch, enjoy the brief escape of watching explosions of color in the sky and feel, i don't know, romantic or something. instead, i spent the duration of the fireworks display facing construction site offices (and, yes, hence away from the fireworks) and talking to haniza, complaining about everything and nothing all at once.

there are countries where you can have fireworks whenever, wherever. in your own bloody backyard, if it pleases you. Singapore is not one of them. they might as well make clear sunny weather a special, couple-times-a-year event. they're already adept enough it manipulting it---the fact that there's so far only been one Parade that's been rained on is neither luck or conicidence.

and, as if to prove my point, it's just begun pouring. Mother Nature doesn't like being manipulated, i suspect, just like any one once they realize they are being manipulated. the heavens are opening up, the deluge is here. one wonders if the same will happen one day, if the administration ever leaves office.

"Be afraid of the lame
They'll inherit your legs
Be afraid of the old
They'll inherit your souls
Be afraid of the cold
They'll inherit your blood
Après moi, le deluge
After me comes the flood

I must go on standing
You can't break that which isn't yours
I, oh, must go on standing
I'm not my own, it's not my choice
"

"Après Moi", Regina Spektor

Saturday, August 12

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I'm heading out to a family event, alone, sans my precious iPod. That can't be wise, can it.

Friday, August 11

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The cordless phone refuses to charge or show any sign of life. And this is after i've spent ten dollars on new batteries for it, too. Don't ask where the old batteries, the ones that worked, are. No one knows. It's nearly six in the morning. I shouldn't be awake. I shouldn't be clicking out this on my mobile phone. But i also can't, and shouldn't, take any more sleeping pills. Cancer For The Cure.

Thursday, August 10

Groucho Marx

"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."

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Tuesday, August 8

siblings

they are just a joy, aren't they?

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This is a better picture, actually.

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Sunday, August 6

come to papa

i want these shoes. so badly. oh, Kenneth Cole, why have you abandoned me? i would give a month's allowance (which is probably what they cost, anyway) for these shoes.

Friday, August 4

5000th

the five thousandth song added to my iTunes Music Library: 

"In Your Room" by Tegan And Sara.

well. five thousand. time to do a cleanout soon. of, like, for example, U2. i've only just realized that i don't really like U2. 

Wireless Fidelity

examples of how the wireless networks neighboring my own are named:

LaksaNet
Mspig
Jesus is Lord!
sh82833667

no, none of these are mine.

Sunday, July 30

iTunes Party Shuffle

Sufjan Stevens, then Kylie Minogue?

you are a sick, sick machine.

"and i cried myself to sleep last night, for the earth, and materials, they may sound just right to me"

"is the world still spinning around? i don't feel like coming down"

wong numbers

god, how many wrong numbers can you get in one night?

Targa 4


i know my desktop wallpaper attests to the contrary, but i do not actually want a metallic orange, four-wheel-drive, targa-topped German sports coupe.

i do, however, want a four-wheel-drive, targa-topped German sports coupe. in metallic gunmetal grey. i should probably go find out if it even comes in such a color. well, it definitely comes in black.

three nights sleeping in an actual, queen-sized, bed and i've a backache from two nights back on a mattress thinner than some breads.

i am too tired to type with the proper accents.

Thursday, July 27

Veronica Mars 0116 "Betty And Veronica" 00:09:00

VERONICA MARS:

"Pan High: The Un-Neptune. Just fifteen miles away, but when those miles are heading inland, there are no yacht clubs and no five-million-dollar homes with coastal views. The parking lot is full of American cars made in the nineties, and the vending machines don't carry Orangina. People here hate Neptune as much as I do."

Sunday, July 23

thank you for smoking

what can i say? i felt inspired.

Saturday, July 22

The Office 0221 "Conflict Resolution", 00:00:38

PAMELA BEESLY:
"There are a few people I decided not to invite. And that might make things kind of awkward, but... it's my wedding. And I don't want anyone there who has called me a hussy."

--- --- ---

MICHAEL SCOTT:
"Cage matches? Yeah, they work. How could they not work? If they didn't work, everybody would still be in the cage."

Friday, July 21

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it's damn early, can?

the bloody newspaper just arrived.

it's damn early, can?

pre-dawn

this is an obscene hour in which to be awake.

Thursday, July 20

Absolut Ruby Red

ladies and gentlemen:

do not blog whilst drunk. i still am, so i'm not. wait. i am blogging. so i am contradicting my own rule. i'd better stop now, hadn't i?

that's all. i think. what?

Monday, July 17

psychosis

i'm not supposed to be awake for another two hours.

oh, well, what can you do? Moses had Egyptian Slavery and the Red Sea. Noah had the Great Flood. David had Goliath. Jesus had Judas and Mary Magdalene. Aaron has Samantha.

great challenges in life, i'm sure, are meant to be not just overcome, but crushingly defeated. but, for now, the medication's wearing off.

Sunday, July 16

"And then they're all living in a cave,"

"And our show is not that "plotty." It's not Lost. It's not like you get a lot of, "And then they're all living in a cave," or whatever happens on Lost."

- Lauren Graham (who plays Lorelai Gilmore on Gilmore Girls), on Lost

it's the end of the world (as we know it)

why do i feel worse? aren't i supposed to be feeling better? like, much, much better?

what, do they induce melancholy to cure anxiety? i have enough of that, i don't need any more.

i need to go out. i can't stay in for much longer.

this fucking sucks.

Saturday, July 15

Noise Pollution

dear MINDEF,

i am so fucking sick of your fucking flybys.

i do not fucking care if it's fucking national day, i do not care. you fly the same fucking planes on the same fucking route every fucking year so i do not see why you have to start your fucking rehersals so fucking early. fucking stop it. sonic fucking booms do not make for a soundtrack conducive to eating dinner.

or, for that fact, conducive to any-fucking-thing.

that's all,

-aaron

Wednesday, July 12

Gilmore Girls 0613 "Friday Night's Alright For Fighting", 00:21:21

SOOKIE ST. JAMES:
"What are you doing?"

LORELAI GILMORE:
"Uh, he freaks out if he sees his leash. You have to make sure you hide it from him, make sure he doesn't see you putting it on him."

SOOKIE:
"How is he once he's on the leash?"

LORELAI:
"Oh, he's totally fine having his personal freedom slowly stripped away, as long as he's completely unaware that it's happening, Just like a true American."

--- --- ---

EMILY GILMORE:
"You know what else i find amusing?"

LORELAI GILMORE:
" 'Reno 911!' ? "

twenty-six

there are no Zagat-rated establishments in Singapore.

how sad is that?

Tuesday, July 11

Sunday, July 9

le pluie


so, joshua was right. it rained! i got to wear a jacket out again.

Thursday, July 6

Come See it all Happening!

is this is what i get for living in Geylang? a flyer inviting me to "Come See it all Happening at" (interesting use of capitalization there, by the way) the local WorldSkills finals--suspiciously held at ITE College West (Balestier Campus).

my suspicions are confirmed on the flyer itself, below the glaringly garish headline. for those of you not bothered enough to click on the picture above to view an enlarged version, i have abused my PowerBook's keyboard to faithfully reproduce the copy below.

Why must YOU be there?
  • Witness the competition and find out what it takes to be a global skills talent!
  • Enjoy electrifying performances by ITE students!
  • Find out more about ITE education from interactive projects!
  • See which secondary school wins at the mobile robot competition!
  • Admission is FREE!

(note the ever-so-subtle desperation that has possessed the word "FREE!" and you just gotta love the generous use of exclamation marks.)

this is suspiciously more ITE than WorldSkills.

Wednesday, July 5

This Is Broken


i'll have to presume that concussions are fairly common at this particular pillar on the Redhill MRT station platform, then.

lucky number s7evin

i downloaded a couple of versions of the 대장금 theme song today, before i left the house. i don't know why. it suddenly rang out and spoke to me, i guess.

they don't think it's as bad as it's thought to be. i think it is, but i am surely not the best judge. we'll find out soon enough.

psychiatry

today is not a good day to see a psychiatrist.

but i have a letter that says it is, and that i am liable for conviction to a fine or imprisonment if i don't show up.

off i go, then.

Tuesday, July 4

you may know this girl


she's my sister. and this is her ignoring my request to "do something obscene with the ice-cream cone."

COMPETITION TIME

look closely at this. what do you think it is?

don't worry if you don't get it right away. i stared uncomprehendingly at it for a full minute before i even realized that it was, allegedly, a garment. that someone would wear. as an outer layer of clothing. outside of their own home.

if your answer is "a pair of shorts in a fashion commonly seen on, how shall i say it, working girls," congratulations! you're absolutely correct!

girls, let me save you fifty dollars--just wear a pair of panties out!

Monday, July 3

Happy Endings, 01:49:23

"When you're a gay man,
it's hard to feel bad about
yourself when a urologist
says, "Yeah. I pick you."

Sunday, July 2

Brief Encouters, p154

"Lunch lived up to expectations. The cheese and tomato sandwiches would have been great had they used cheese and tomato. Lettuce with a faint cheesy aroma and dripping tomato juice was hardly the same thing. In fairness, the crisps were only slightly stale, although the bowl of fruit was so ancient that Hannah was sure she'd seen a painting of it somewhere."

Saturday, July 1

qué sera sera

why are one-day-use contact lenses so expensive? it was the end of the month, so early this morning i took the lenses out of my eyes and dumped them into the sink. it felt good. better than squirting solution to rinise them, filling the case and sticking them inside the case carefully, anyway. which i'm going to have to do after i next wear contacts. it's tiresome. but, apparently, not tiresome enough for me to stop wearing contacts altogether.

adrian quek, you ruined my PEBL.

i, on several levels, feel like sucks.

Wednesday, June 28

nail-fucking-polish

only the most brilliant of minds could waltz right into a room, with its door and window closed and air-conditioning freshly switched on, and proceed to fume it up by painting her nails at eleven-oh-five at night. when she's just got home.

only the most brilliant of minds.

i re-opened the window and door, and switched on the fan at full tilt to de-fume it. she waltzed back in and undid all that.

only the most fucking brilliant of minds.

Crow. Bar.

Tuesday, June 27

"please consider this my two weeks' notice."

it's easier said than meant.

we'll see how long the rest of it lasts.

Monday, June 26

Film Review: Superman Returns

and so, i'm back from the gala premiere of Superman Returns.

don't watch it. it's predictable, and boring. it's not even worth the sum of time spent there, free popcorn/coke combo, and the goodie bags. i cannot believe Bryan Singer left the X-Men trilogy to that hack director so that he could squeeze out this turd of a film. oh, and this Superman might not be gay, but he sure is one hell of an attention-seeking media whore.

if you insist, then run out and buy a Superman comic and some (actually, a lot of) Samsung electronics. then juxtapose Superman with the Samsungs in your living room, or whatever. you'll get the same effect.
"I think Superman Returns has put my brain on Permanently Bored."
if i must give stars, this one's a half-star.

Sunday, June 18

PowerBook

"Plus, thanks to the status symbol factor, the PowerBook is the only notebook that works when turned off."

Teddy, Balaclava, Absolut and Threadless

I don't think it's fair that I discovered Teddy Geiger first, and I bought his album before the bloody newspaper review came out, and I didn't get a bloody invite to his bloody gig at bloody Balaclava.

I mean, of all places. BALACLAVA? Loser yuppies that don't have anywhere to go go there. It’s such a dickhead place to go (and by that, I mean that I fully expect to have to go there in the future, when some more of my friends grow up, get jobs in cubicle farms at Temasek Avenue, and then become sad yuppies with nowhere else to go, so they booze up at some lame open-air yuppie bar.)

Wait. Where was I? Yes. Teddy Geiger had a gig at Balaclava, and because I was an early adopter and liked his music (and not photos of him or his album reviews in Life! or Lime or Seventeen Singapore) and bought his album before it exploded all over pre-pubescent Singapore, I don't get to go to listen to him live.

How fair is that? Okay I’m rambling now. I shouldn't have gone to that party last night. I boozed up far too much and drank what… what was it, one shot of Patrick’s layered stuff, a screwdriver with less vodka than it’d like, and a full glass of vodka on the rocks? Must have been that, at least. And it was Absolut, which meant it smelt like paint stripper, even if it did taste fine. Wasted time, wasted money.

Though the nice cab driver who took me home rounded down my cab fare to eight dollars, which was very nice. But I only discovered that between getting out of the cab and staring uncomprehendingly at the two-dollar note in my hand, being too distracted to notice anything while it's actually happening. So I didn't even get to thank him for saving my morning from the depths of the night before.

How sad am I? I more or less chugged paint stripper, at a sad gathering of sad people, most of whom I cannot really consider my friends, since I don’t see them unless it’s at some sad booze-up.

And isn’t getting slightly toasted like I did (I thought I’d gone overboard—wasn’t sure if I was drunk-drunk but I felt silly and like I was acting silly, but I was repeatedly reassured that I wasn’t drunk, just a bit tipsy, but I’d had a lot to drink) supposed to make you temporarily feel better? I felt sadder, more upset with things outside my control.

What the fuck am I to going to do with all my Medium-sized t-shirts?

Wednesday, June 14

oh, great.

Threadless is having another sale.

this time i shall order large-sized shirts.

Monday, June 12

the facts of life

i'm sitting at the Dell, typing this out, because while sitting in the dark, crouched over my PowerBook sat on a folding table has never agreed with me, i'm only now starting not to accept it as a subsitute for a proper computing environment.

anyway, much as i think that the PowerBook G4 keyboard (which one day i must accept is also the MacBook Pro's keyboard) is one of the best in the world, sometimes you need a full-sized keyboard. i can't decide if the loud clacking of the Dell Quietkey Keyboard i'm using now is a boon or a bane, though. on one hand, it's a physical embodiment of the cathartic effect, so in a sense, it helps. on the other, it's just damned fricking loud. i wonder how the Apple Keyboard sounds like when you're banging an essay out on it.

what am i dong up at half-past three in the morning? i have a feeling that i might soon succumb completely to what ails me. the sixteen-hour periods of sleep and four-hour-long bouts of insomnia (hello, three-thirty AM) point to signs.

have i been thinking too much? maybe. at home isn't a place where you should have to hide. it seems, though, that it's where i do a fair bit of my hiding. things have been repressed, feelings pushed away, pretence in place of pobity. it's going to be three years since soon, and while it's started two years ago, it only got more difficult as time passed on. especially one year after.

but then again, if i think about it, it's been an entire lifetime of stashing things away. i am, after all, a pack rat, and nothing gets chucked away no matter how much it needs to be disposed of. that's why they tell you to compartmentalize--no one can force you to let go. i can hold grudges for ever. i can forgive in an instant, and in the short term dismiss it from consciousness, but i never forget forever.

i need something to happen. something that will change me, affect me, capture me, enthrall me, doing something to me. but maybe i should be careful of what i wish for.

i'm getting more and more tired. i can't keep my energy up. the old adage of sleeping early, waking early and getting a full eight hours' sleep has never worked for me, and forcing myself into that fixed pattern only makes it worse. the best i can do is distract myself with whatever happenes to catch my fancy at the moment, and see what happens.

may you live in interesting times.

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Sunday, June 11

there's a lot behind a little move

there are a lot of Nokia sliding form-factor phones being resold of late. this includes, but is not limited to, the 6111, 6280 and N80.

i wonder why?

Saturday, June 10

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Can you say, "Coarse and vuglar?" I haven't been to another mid-class restaurant less pleasant to sit in than this one.

Friday, June 9

contact

my eyes started to get extremely uncomfortable as i crossed the four lanes of Geylang Road just now. but these are the Bausch & Lomb contact lenses, so it was probably a random speck of dust.

things aren't always what they appear to be.

Thursday, June 8

Wednesday, June 7

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waiting for a bus to town from home is like playing Bingo, except that you apparently have to get all the other numbers twice over before you can win with the number you want.

Monday, June 5

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The Devil Wears Versace.

the Dell Dimension

i had to revive the Dell again today, because i wanted to play Need For Speed: Porsche Unleashed.

i hate the fucking thing. i wouldn't care if it never boots again, if it weren't my gaming staple. if only i could get one of those half-price Xbox 360s on sale at the airport this Saturday...

Sunday, June 4

one week's notice

my sixth cousin is getting married to a man named Elvis.

the wedding should be fun.

Friday, June 2

je veux seulement oublier...

i don't write with the regularity that i used to. i wrote more often, and i wrote much more. now i tend to send a photo from my mobile phone and publish it here, and oftentimes the accompanying text that i thumb into the message doesn't make it with the photo, for some reason replaced with "Brought to you by StarHub."

but bad things happen all the time. there is a constant flow of shit hitting the fan, in my life, and i don't expect to stem the flow or the flow to be stemmed.

good things have happened, and that should be enough. but when some things happen and you're not sure what they mean, it just makes you feel much, much worse. you constantly think, wonder, analyze and over-analyze, and you become paranoid-does it means something more? was it just what it was? was it a hint? was it just teasing?

good things have happened. that should be enough.

Monday, May 29

Lesbian

My girlfriend and I couldn't decide on a name for our little baby girl. Eventually she took her to the registrar, and said she would think of something on the way. When she returned, I was frantic with anticipation. 'So what's she called?'

'I called her Lesbian,' she said, smiling at the bundle in her arms. 'It's such a pretty name.'

I asked her what on earth had possessed her. 'Don't you know what it means?' She didn't, so I explained. The poor thing burst into tears.

'I didn't know there were ladies who did that to each other,' she sobbed.

Sunday, May 28

MOS (Burger)

the Ministry of Sound is decent. not as amazing as the hype and write-ups, but decent. a good place to pass time.

it would've been more fun if i weren't so skint, though. blame glarkware. blame threadless. blame CCN day. blame many other things.

blame yourself. blame the germans.

i'm being random, but trust me on this--i am not drunk. i came down from the drink while i was still inside the club, a first for me. and i actually yawned once, post-drink.

lunch today. more later.

Saturday, May 27

Friday, May 26

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I've just realized that going to DES campus is no longer something i enjoy.

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All this talk about school irritates me to end.

There was a reason i left the mailing list.

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It's been two months since i last travelled this route.

Disappointingly, nothing has changed.

"everything in the Gilmore house was 'don't talk about it, shove it aside.' and of course, i talked about it and shoved it right in your face."

stop. i had enough, i cannot take it any more.

i just want it to stop.

i don't want it to go on any more, i just want it to stop.

i don't care how it happens. just stop.

Thursday, May 25

dirty laundry (now airing)


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This is the kind of mess she makes and leaves behind, before she goes out. My comforter and pllow somehow got caught in the fray as well, despite originally being in the top left-hand corner of the bed. (yes, my pillowcase and comforter have flowers on them. that is how destitute we are.)

please also note that all this is on a bed. where people sleep in.

you know what? in hindsight, this is disgusting.

whatafool

it looks like the laser printer's gone mad. it's churned out at least ten copies of some meaningless gibberish.

but, no. it is merely my sadly uneducated and/or illogical sister. because if it doesn't work, click the Print button repeatedly until either it does work, or you give up.

i fear for the future (mine). my aunt was right. i have to break free.

the graduated

"Ryan puts Marissa down carefully and tries to wake her up. She does, and her head is bleeding and her injuries have given her a strange Kabuki face. Either that, or the makeup department doesn't apply "death mask" nearly as well as it does "Marissa glamour face." "Ryan," she says. Ryan says that he'll get help, like he always does for her. This time, she begs him: "Stay. Don't leave." Then she moans a few times, and Ryan whispers that she'll be okay and he'll stay there and neither one of them says I love you. Sucks to be you, Ryan/Marissa fans! And with that, Marissa pants a few times and dies. Ryan is shocked. He keeps calling her name, and then lets out an "oh... no." Unfortunately, his crying face looks a lot like a smile. Kind of like the smile on my face right now when Imogean Heap comes back and sings "Hallelujah!" about the fact that Marissa just bit it. We flashback to Ryan driving away from Marissa and looking back once to see her standing in front of the sunset.

Wow, what a terrible way to kill off a character. Why did they break Ryan and Marissa up if she was going to die? Why not have Marissa leave the show on the Greek cruise? I'm all for her leaving my television screen, but this was such a pointless way to do it, it just left me feeling hollow and unsatisfied. Pretty much like this show always does. So I guess it's fitting."


from televisionwithoutpity.com

yes. good recap.

two-thirds

two of them are now dead to me. congratulations, the gigantic dickhead has joined the ginormous cunt in restful peace.

all this means to me is that come Wednesday, i will basically be living in a flat three-quarters full of people i either dislike (wheelchair-enabled aunt and the maid) or hate (guess who).

in other news, apparently Taylor Hicks won American Idol. great. now can he dye his hair?

Wednesday, May 24

Tuesday, May 23

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Originally uploaded by aklw.

Is there anything scarier than opening your closet, fresh from a shower, only to find this in it?

Wednesday, May 17

nude no more

i want my Threadless t-shirts, and i want them NOW.

Tuesday, May 16

sam phillips

i'm not a big fan of my siblings. not a single one of them.

if you closely, if you look enough, and if you know what to look for, you'll know why.

Friday, May 12

eternal sunshine

Mr. Blue Sky
Please tell us why

You had to hide away for so long (so long)
Where did we go wrong?

Holgas are so last year.

Friday, May 5

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Originally uploaded by aklw.

The Radiotheraphy Center is depressingly nicer than any of the other clinics in this hospital i've visited. "Nicer"meaning "not fugly". It's no designer clinic, but it at least looks like some thought was put into the aesthetic nature of the place. Because clearly cancer patients need more comfort. So we give them a non-unattractive clinic and waiting area to sit in, complete with pleather sofas.

Thursday, May 4

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Originally uploaded by aklw.

Boost and Supernanny. the Thursday night special.

Wednesday, May 3

weapon of choice

Fear is the weapon that stifles dissent - Guardian Unlimited

"Registering opposition by boycotting the polls is not really an option since those who don't cast ballots face fines and having their right to vote suspended."

Monday, May 1

voting, election

on page sixteen of Upper Secondary Social Studies (Secondary 3):


Figure 3 Voting in the 1959 election
The British granted Singapore self-government after the election.
Why did the British government decide to grant self-government to Singapore?
yes. why, indeed? see the estatic woman, running through the streets in the rain after voting? that's how rare a chance to vote is, in sunny Singapore.

family = big fucking headache

my mother dug into another dig about family today.

about how you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. about how we would understand that once we have families of our own.

i stated for the record, again, that i was not interested in having a family of my own. that i do not want some woman to live with, for ever, and i do not want anything sliding out of the uterus of said woman. the biggest troubles of my life thus far have mostly been of the female gender. i am not going to have a family of my own.

she told me i cannot possibly be sure, at this age and maturity, about what i want for myself. and that she's seen people older and more matured that have gone back on things they've sworn on. then she added that if i didn't want a family of my own, i should treasure the one i've got--there isn't going to be any other.

family is not one husband, one wife, and two-point-five kids. i do not want a wife and two-point-five kids. it is, in fact, this family of one husband, one wife, and four kids that have put me off a family with a wife and two-point-five kids.

one of my biggest recent mistakes, on par with choosing to do Product & Industrial Design, is getting my aunt to take my siblings in, to have them move in with me. thus far they have mostly offered nothing but more trouble, more nagging, more ear-bending, and now, enormous pressure under which i can do nothing. they are for the most part ignorant of what it means to be living off someone else, what they should do, how they should behave, what they should say and when they should do things.

if you don't like living here, if you don't want to live here, if you don't want to abide and follow and behave and fucking clean up after your fucking selves, then move the fuck out. you have a choice. you are not being forced to live here and do things. if you choose to live here, act it. if you choose to not act fittingly, move the fuck out. at this point i can honestly say i do not care where the fuck you lot go.

worse, my "parents" have decided that since their children are humanly surviving somewhere (who cares where exactly), it is hence okay to shirk their responsibilities and either fuck off to Papua New Guinea or fuck off into a life of whatever the fuck her secret life is.

one day, when they have grown up and matured, they will see what they've done. i cannot see maturity in any member of my family, from my father to my youngest sibling. your father does not want you. your mother does not want you. what are you going to do now?

when i got them moved in, i did not know what i did. now that i know, i cannot move them back out. they, however, are completely capable of getting themseleves chased out. and one day, when i really tire of covering their backs and my own, it will happen.

i don't want to change my surname. i don't want another family.

i want to get out.

Saturday, April 29

the windows experience

apparently, Microsoft Windows XP does not have built-in support for burning DVDs.

lovely.

Thursday, April 27

triple-decker fish burger sandwich

there may be some mayonnaise and tomato ketchup seeped under the trackpad of my (still broken) PowerBook.

there may be. i'm not sure.

Wednesday, April 26

six feet under.

if you haven't asked yet, you are no longer permitted to ask.

everything ends.

Wednesday, April 19

GIMME FICTION

I HATE MY IPOD, I HATE ITUNES, AND I FUCKING HATE SPOON.

IF LIFE WANTS TO MAKE FUN OF ME, IT CAN GO AHEAD AND LAUGH ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF. GO ON FOR LONG ENOUGH AND I WON'T BE AROUND FOR MUCH LONGER, ANYWAY.

Tuesday, April 18

it's alright, baby

When I'm asleep
It gives me time to think
Thoughts that I wouldn't dare speak aloud
I couldn't bare myself before a crowd

I bide my time while biting my tongue
Hold closed my mouth so song is unsung
Get to the meat of things already
With buried secrets the ground is heavy

That's just the way things used to be
That's just the way...

Things used to be

Monday, April 17

Sunday, April 16

did you know...

... that iBooks don't hold in their batteries if the battery lock is not manually turned back to the locked position?

i didn't, until i lifted the iBook up just now and lost my work!

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What is this obsession with framed fruit?

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Okay.

Sunday

it's sunday.

i wonder what i'm doing today?

Saturday, April 15

walk this earth alone

spending every day at the hospital is tiring. i didn't even realise it was the weekend until i noticed that there were an unusually high number of obnoxious people on the train today. my iPod confirmed that today is Saturday.

i dare any one i know to tell me that they have it worse than i do. any one.

Tuesday, April 11

here i am,
once again

here i am, having said to myself that i must push through, trying to push through.

however i have nothing to say. i feel nothing.

it's a good thing the Avril Lavigne CDs have all been hidden away.

eta: oh, wait. an email just came in, and now i'm having an aneurysm.

Monday, April 10

i'm tired of being a waste,
and i am so sick of being tired

if you're going to take a stab at how i'm feeling right now,

don't you dare get it wrong.

Friday, April 7

it's only the end of the world,
not a death in the family

this is the end, now it's over. there is nothing else left to try, and there is nothing else left to do. i always thought i would break up and cry, but it seems the worst part is that i can't even seem to do just that.

Saturday, April 1

when there's nothing left to burn,
you have to set youself on fire.


a quick update while i have the chance.

two weeks of work set on fire start to disappear in two minutes.

after two hours, it's nothing but ash and carbon monoxide.

final count: twenty cardboard chests of offerings. i gave up keeping track of how many bin liners full of folded gold and silver taels we had at the end.

i filled my box with a Mercedes-Benz, Pensonic portable cassette player, Nokiv mobile phones, some sushi, packet drinks, some blouses (oddly enough there were no skirts or any other sort of bottoms), a pair of shoes, and a purse. the standard supply of fifty-billion dollar notes, fifty-million dollar notes and other notes of ridiculoulsy smaller denominations (five, ten, fifty) plus gold/silver bars (the silver bars had 99.9% Pure Gold in Chinese stamped on them) and folded gold and silver taels.

i loved arriving at six-thirty, the sun not yet up, the air crisp and cool, on a truck the size of a standard-length single-decker bus (the regulation sticker on the back said "41 pax") loaded with offerings that blocked up the entire section of the cemetery we were in whilst i not-so-casually unloaded everything. there were already a number of people there, but no one else had quite the bonfire we had. there were families that brought a pick-up with one cardboard chest. there were families that managed a quarter of what we burnt. not a single one quite matched us.

and that is how i spent the first twelve hours of april fool's day, year two thousand and six.

face and money. that's all it boils burns down to.
us asians are a queer lot.

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Originally uploaded by aklw.

It's been so long - i've forgotten that at six am, the sun doesn't come up for another hour.

too early

it is too fucking early for me to be woken, brushed, showered, dressed, contact-lensed and ready to go.

but i am, anyway.