am i on the wrong track?

and, yet again, i'm avoiding the details of the weekend. i do not know why. i want to record the many levels of disgust i had to go through reach today, but i'm either too tired or i feel i can live with the linen being as dirty as it is for now. next weekedn ought to be a hoot on around the same level as last week, though, so must prod me to update for the weekend before the weekend.

right now i'm seated in the PID studio. nothing new, except that i'm one half hour early for lecture, and have opted to come here instead of waiting for lecture outside the room, or at the library. and i'm exactly across the room from where i normally seat, because i am sick of pretending that i am a normal, unbalanced human being.

"Happy people scare me. They are chemically unbalanced."
- Shirley Manson

i am sick of being next to the staircase, next to the lecture area behind the lockers, next to way most people walk into the studio, forcing myself to greet everyone that comes though in a non-sardonic, positive manner, smiling and laughing occasionally, etcetera.

I AM SICK OF IT.

so i've moved to the table where people go to only to eat, or sit by themselves. occasionally the two other PowerBook users take up roost here, but as long as they don't bother me or force me to act like i'm on twenty levels of Prozac, i can not mind their presence.