i didn't want anything more to do with the outside world

i hate the government. they are outside the block now, drilling/hacking holes on the outside wall of the lift shafts, and then filling them up again. according to the notice posted at places in the estate, it's called "repair". fuck off. what kind of repair is filling up holes you've just made in the wall?

i hate hate hate the fucking noise being made by the fucking construction workers who are working for the fucking government.

and before i go, another thing to gripe about. it took me six months, but suddenly i've realized living here [at my aunt's] "somewhat" restricts me. back with my immediate family, my mom would decide that i was going and chase me out the house whenever i told her i was undecided about going out somewhere with friends. like pool, or xuan's house, watching other people get wasted. i don't like going out, and she knows it, and she's worried i'll become even more introverted. not that she knows what that word means. but can i help it if i don't want anything more to do with the outside world?

you should have seen her last week when i told her i was thinking about going to Zouk, but thought it wasn't my kind of place. she told me that she didn't like it much either, but i SHOULD go so i could find out if it really didn't like it, how would i know unless i went?

now, though, even planning to meet patrick to buy the Sony MDR-EX71S in-ear earphones off him needs to be contrived and secretive and frustrating and troublesome, on more levels than one.

and now, i need to get ready to go. because therapy for my grandpa begins in forty-five minutes at the hospital.