stupid fucking newspapers

that Tolkien fella must be turning in his grave. if he's dead. is he dead? whatever. i can't really be arsed if the bugger responsible for over ten hours' worth of yawn is dead or not. [!!! anti-LOTR-er!!! shock! horror!]

ANYWAY. did you know that Enya is on the soundtrack for Return Of The King? i was watching VH1 Video Collection, and the entire screen lit up with Frodo And His Motley Crew, mixed in with generous shots of Enya really singing, but looking and sounding like she's humming really loudly.

the promo for Superman by Five For Fighting is disturbing. because it's mostly [too much] of the lead singer and [not so much of] his piano. whoever the lead singer is, he looks creepy.

now that we've nicely sidestepping me having to go into the details of my [still! not! over!] Lunar New Year festivities because a good two-thirds of you are appalled at my opinion of LOTR [!!! anti-LOTR-er!!! again!], here're the real headlines.

FATHER ALLEGDELY WILL RETURN FOR LUNAR NEW YEAR, FIVE DAYS LATE
that's right, Air Niugini flies twice weekly to and from Port Moresby! just because he says he will doesn't mean he will. "you will know if he's really coming back when you see him at the airport" - eyewitness to previous Singapore sighting of Albert Khoo.

SONY ERICSSON Z1010 3G PHONE TOO HUGE
requisite functions all there, but Sony Ericsson's first third-generation phone is just too bulky. about the size of a P800, but shorter. hopefully it just looks big in the photo, but it seems unlikely.

NOKIA 7600 3G PHONE LACKS 3G FUNCTION
a coaster/slice of bread that has the features of a Nokia 7250/3330 but costs twice as much.
-lacks a memory-card slot for expansion [only 29 MB of memory is user-accessible]
-lacks a second camera pointed at the user for video-calls - incapable of video calls anyway
-large, odd shape - roughly the size of a closed Palm Tungsten T
-dialling with one hand will probably prove impossible
-it costs $800 with a $250 trade-in and a two-year contractual period, with no obvious functional advantage over older, cheaper, models. what kind of fool will fall for that? Singaporean fools, that's who

PALMONE SERVICE EFFICIENT, DHL'S RUDE
i received my Palm Tungsten T back from palmOne in half the time they estimated it would take. that's good. the DHL man who delivered it was rude and barely grunted twice to indicate where i should sign. that's bad.

NOKIA 8250 STOLEN WITH ENZER CD PLAYER IN YJC, N-GAGE LEFT UNTOUCHED
fringe story of the week. a Nokia 8250 and sub-$50 Enzer portable CD player were stolen whilst left unattended in a YJC classroom recently. the weird bit is that a Nokia N-Gage, undoubtedly the hippest and trendiest mobile phone available now, was left untouched. is the thief just REALLY STUPID or does he know that the Nokia N-Gage is really a silly excuse for a marketing gimmick and, in his hidden heart of gold, decided not to contribute further to the plague of N-Gages by NOT stealing it and selling it to some two-bit 'handphone' shop in the heartlands?

CHEAP PORSCHE BURNS ALONG ROADSIDE - FEW CARE
a cheap, old, YELLOW, Porsche 911 burns along Braddell Road. tailback cause by thousands who wanted to get the license plate number of the rarity. driver/owner seen in tears by roadside - WAKE UP. it's an UGLY, YELLOW [ YELLOW?! YOU REALLY THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD COLOR FOR A PORSCHE?!], fuck-me sports car. it's barely worth more than my mother's Suzuki Swift GL.

"The rear of the 911-model, estimated to be worth less than $40,000 by experts, was still on fire even after 20 minutes of fire-fighting."
- Driver walks away from burning car, Page 3, The Straits Times, January 28, 2004.

HYUNDAI MATRIX WILDLY POPULAR - BUT STILL NASTY
top-selling mini-MPV sold over four thousand units last year - three seen in Chuan Park. success attributed to low cost, in turn the result of the Korean [lack of] quality.

CAR UK's GBU Review

For Is it an MPV?
Against Or a mutated hatchback?
Sum up Priced within special-offer Picasso Territory

rating: 2/5 stars

COUNTLESS SINGAPOREANS CONNED BY LURE OF TOYOTA COROLLA ALTIS
wake up, people. this Thai-built middle-cheapo-class sedan was introduced in Malaysia and Thailand at exactly the same time as the previous Corolla. Borneo Motors/Toyota just assumed that Singaporeans would assume that something must be new, if they haven't seen it before. and it looks like they were right.

GOOD BYE, SEDAN?
from The Straits Times, an article reporting on the absolutely fascinating trend of sedans moving out of the norm, and monospace-design cars moving in.

Newlyweds Calvin Chua, 26 and Jolene, 24, have just booked a Mazda2 hatchback. Mr Chia, an RSAF specialist, said: "I like the way it looks, and its versatility. If you need more space, you just fold the rear seats flat or forward.

"And it has a lot of space. I'm 1.84m and I have no problem with the headroom."

He did not pick a sedan because it was "conventional".

smart idea, you bright spark. but in five years, won't MPV and hatchbacks become the convention? then sedans will become unconventional. then... oh, no. poor Mr Chia has lost his point.

CREATIVE IN MICROSOFT'S GOOD BOOKS - MUCH AKIN TO BEING FRIENDS WITH DEVIL
i have nothing to say about this one. except that the Creative Zen actually looks pretty good, but the whole flaunt-the-Microsoft-nod thing puts me off.

piss off, world. i'm in a mood.

"take, take all you need
and i`ll compensate your greed
with broken hearts
sell, i`ll sell your memories, for 15 pounds per year
but just the good days

say, it'll make you insane
and it's bending the truth
you're to blame
for all the life that you'll lose and
you watch this space
and i'm going all the way
and be my slave to the grave
i'm a priest god never paid

hope, i hope you've seen the light
coz no one really cares
they're just pretending
sell, i`ll sell your memories, for 15 pounds per year
but you can keep the bad days

say, it'll make you insane
and im bending the truth
you're to blame
for all the life that you'll lose and
you watch this space
and i'm going all the way
and be my slave to the grave
i'm the priest god never paid"

- "The Small Print", Muse

fuck off, mr lunar new year.

i'm sick again. i'm allergic to lunar new year, i'm sure of it. it's not some bug that goes around 'that time of year'. LNY is in january this year for fuck's sake. my nose is running, my head's throbbing, my ear's aching, my eyes're itching.

i put Coldplay on at our "reunion" dinner [my father's in PNG. at least the third one he's missed]. i don't think it went down very well, because it got switched to that Kelly Clarkson broad's music halfway through. i don't see how anyone can possibly be Thankful for that record.

visitations later in the morning. ergh.

my Palm's in for service. my Sony Ericsson's on the blink [my Ericsson gave out some time ago, it was my fault though], my CD Walkman's broken.

i feel like crap now. and i missed going back to school because i found out that Victoria School ended at 10 AM, at 11 AM. un-fucking-believable. five years straight they end past noon, now i'm not attending and they end at 10?!

but of course it was too late by the time i found out. i had another half-hour before i would get to school [i guessed that everyone would be long gone by then] and i still had three more stops to make before five PM [errands ]. so i gave up and gave in.

in any case, the only teachers i would have looked up were Mr Hazrin, Mr Khoo, Ms Ernie, Mr Anuar and Mrs Raj. so if you're reading this [tres unlikely], hello.

and i've just realized that it is most likely none of the five people mentioned above hold lunar new year very close to their heart [except for Mr Khoo maybe, but if he does i will be sorely disappointed].

when's the fourth season of Gilmore Girls going to get here? i hate you, MediaCorp.

"Come on, oh my star is fading
And I see no chance of release
I know I'm dead on the surface
But I am screaming underneath

And time is on your side
It's on your side now
Not pushing you down
And all around, no
It's no cause for concern

Stuck on the end of this ball and chain
And I'm on my way back down again
Stood on a bridge, tied to a noose
Sick to the stomach
You can say what you mean
But it won't change a thing
I'm sick of our secrets
Stood on the edge, tied to a noose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me"

- "Amsterdam", Coldplay

money is a good thing, only those without it complain' - Adam First, Wave 103 FM

i've just finished indexing my tapes of the second season of Gilmore Girls [snide remarks to me direct, please, they won't do much good being heard by your monitor]. it took way longer than expected. now the mammoth task of re-recording them onto tapes that go "gilmore girls 0201-0203", rather than "ally mcbeal 0521[?], gilmore girls 0222, dharma & greg [unknown]. etc, etc". you get the drift, i hope. but i will not be cutting out the ads. not just because i'm an lazy arse, but also because three-year-old ads can be interesting and even thought-provoking. [plus, if i ever enter the ad industry like i half-intend to, they'll come in handy].

for example: i spied a Deuter ad on one of the Gilmore tapes. what's happened to Deuter? it's been tossed aside in favour of Crumpler. so pooh-pooh and poppycock to those who claimed that their Deuter was the last bag they will ever buy. ten-to-one they've a Crumpler in place of it now. and pooh-pooh/poppycock, too, to those who claim that their Crumpler will be the last bag they'll ever buy. we'll see in three years, buster.

i'll stick with my very, very old Nike messenger bag [recently returned to me after my sister obtained a Topshop graffiti-print bag], thank you.

i am wanting an iBook SE [the old clamshell ones, except the SE comes in graphite].

Cons:
-costs $500 second-hand [without a new battery to replace the worn-out one that comes with it]
-its LCD goes up to a maximum of 800x600 pixels
-mono speaker [note that that's a singular noun]
-only one USB port
-only 366MHz [supposedly OK for an Apple. anw it's only $500]
-128MB RAM [enough, but not quite enough]
-i do not have $500

Pros:
-i checked, finally, and MSN Messenger for Mac DOES have most of the features of the Windows version
-finally MY own PC for MY own use
-it comes with OS X Panther, and a carrying case
-i will FINALLY have a Mac
-i will have something to take notes on if i go to JC/Poly

i NEED to find work. i'm broke. and i owe pat money [although that itself is a result of my family members owning me money].

"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup, they slither wildly, they slip away
Across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world"

- "Across The Universe", Fiona Apple

fucking hell

my brother is a complete, fucking, no-holds-barred fucktard of a retard. the bloody fool dangled my School Of Rock ticket stubs out the window, and when i tried to grab them back, dropped them. the instant my face contorted into that i-am-now-considering-a-jail-sentence-for-manslaughter look, he immediately went all 'you scratched my thumb, that's why i let go ...' fucking PSLE-171-T-Score-idiot. and, God, i hate those immediate justifications my father's genes gave us.

yes, i keep shit like ticket stubs. do not ask me why. i feel not even my mother has the right to question me on that, so sod-the-bloody-fuck off. that means you too, samantha.

and! i missed the Wong Li-lin gotcha gag. argh! argh-argh-argh!

"99 Kriegsminister
Streichholz und Benzinkanister
Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
Mann, wer haette das gedacht
Dass es einmal soweit kommt
Wegen 99 Luftballons"

- "99 Red Balloons", Goldfinger

the singapore short story project

sitting on the covered toilet bowl, crying my heart out, i realized that if i stayed here and cried for another week, it was unlikely that anyone outside of those who live with me would notice.

it was equally unlikely that the Ericsson lying just a few paces away would ring while i was sitting there, with me having to answer the phone in sobs, the person on the other end asking me if everything's ok. because no one ever calls.

the calendar outside read that it was the fourth day of the twelfth month. one wonders why arguments like this don't happen more often, considering the situation. but it's hell nowadays, and anniversaries, whatever they commemorate, must not mean anything anymore if this kind of shit could happen, with frank disregard for the anniversary that just preceded it. and all over a stolen bicycle.

wake up, starfuck. no-one's going to care. clean up and get the fuck out of the bloody bathroom.

i wrote the above last year. tell me what you think of it. if i become a writer one day, i will fit these paragraphs into one of my books.

i feel absolutely sucky. the number of friends i have [loosely defined as those i see on the MSN Messenger Service regularly and can engage in witty banter with without it feeling weird, as the normal definition if used here will leave me more-or-less friendless. thanks a fat lot, Friendster.] can be counted on the number of fingers i have, possibly with enough fingers left over to fit in my immediate family members.

the last time i saw/went out with human beings outside of my family was mosh.04. the last time before that was my birthday. and the last time before that was the PAE briefing.

and now that almost everyone else has some sort of tertiary institution to head off to on weekdays, i'm left alone at home on said weekdays. the only people i know who aren't going anywhere are Pat and Dax. those who are are Matt [NJC], Xuan [ACJC], Kenneth [Unknown - haven't asked yet, really should soon], etc, even Nick Tan [YJC].

you can only talk about so much with the JC-goers, after all. after asking them how their first day was, you quickly run out of conversation pieces. it's not like you're in the same room and can go 'is that a Nokia Fun Camera?' or 'he's trying to speak French, but je suis means "i am", actually' [goodness knows i already struggle whilst such conversation pieces are right in my face]. you start to wonder if it's all becoming slightly strained, if you should give up.

i've fallen out of the rat race, and it's moving on like i wasn't even there.

i miss school. it gave me somewhere to go every Monday morning. it made me see other human beings and decide if i wanted to attempt a hook-up. it would ironically appear that regimentation is what i crave now, going to school at 6, spending the day raving about other human beings, coming back at 3.

what really, really sucks is that even if i somehow, magically/miraculously woke up tomorrow and discovered that it was really Thursday, 2nd January 2003 and i could go back to Geylang Bahru Lane and take 2003 all over again, i likely would have done the same thing. shunning the person/people that tried to make friends with me, acting the arsehole/bitch, and flunking out term after term. then would come the year end, my seventeenth anniversary of life on Earth, and i would be back here, missing my life in school and the potential friends, and trying desperately to cling/clutch on to half-friends who are leaving my world, with only Two Weeks' Notice.

wake up, starfuck. no JC's going to accept someone with 35.2 points, and you'd better pray hard that you even score within 10 points of polytechnic entry. you've lost it. clean up and move on.

"There is no comprehension
There is real isolation
There is so much destruction
What I want is a celebration

And I know I can feel bad
When I get in a bad mood
And the world can look so sad
Only you make me feel good

I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin

I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin

And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love intention
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel"

- "Love Profusion", Madonna

a good way to go deaf

mosh.04 rocked.

it may not all have been my kind of thing, but it sure as hell started on an excellent note.

but i'm now feeling very guilty for abandoning the mosh crew after arriving at Newton Circle Food Center for supper. i think i snapped when some BBQ stingray tout mistook the three microphone stands i was lugging for a video tripod and mouthed off about us being some sort of project trying to capture the last few hours of 2003 [ordinarily i would have been slightly flattered, but it sounded too much like something my father would have said].

i just suddenly felt very, very tired, and the combination of no sleep, alcohol, no food and Starbucks coffee just kicked in. i decided it was best to flee the scene before i made one.

besides, if xuan's place turned out to be more Yio Chu Kang than Serangoon, i wouldn't have the cab fare left after supper.

i guess it's no use brooding about not sticking it out now, but it appears xuan's place really is walking distance away from my place. shame on me. i mean, eventually i will need to overcome this allergy to the human race of mine. maybe new year's wasn't the best time to try it out.

and i must have come home really looking down dump-wise. everyone knew not to wish me a happy new year.

apologies all round. happy new year.

"Oh no, pop is dead, long live pop
It died an ugly death by back-catalogue
And now you know it gets you nowhere
And now you know, you realize

Oh no, pop is dead, it just gave up
We raised the dead but they won't stand up
And radio has salmonella
And now you know you're gonna die

He left this message for us

So what pop is dead, it's no great loss
So many facelifts, his face flew off
The emperor really has no clothes on
And his skin is peeling off

Oh no, pop is dead, long live pop,
One final line of coke to jack him off
Jack him off

He left this message for us
He left this message for us

He's dead, He's dead, Pop is dead
He's dead, He's dead, Pop is dead
He's dead, He's dead, Pop is dead"

- "Pop Is Dead", Radiohead

what i want is an explanation

mosh.04 is in three days. i've got to get a move on, haven't i?

i have finagled three microphone stands from the victoria school audio visual department, and will try to finagle a mixer out of them as well. but the finagling must end soon, if it doth not it shall beth too lateth.

so. why am i going to mosh.04?

one - basically i will be the cable guy. and i kind of like that.

two - would i rather "chaperone" my sister on another one of her whims, or stay at home and surf?

three - just in case i never see this lot again

four - i've never been to a real party before

and number four's true. unless you count lamo birthday parties [i don't], mucking around someone's multi-million-dollar mansion for hours and days, when my mother dragged me into a discotheque, and lamo parties in school [again, i don't].

Throw ’em a fake and a finagle/They’ll never know you’re just a bagel/Razzle dazzle ’em/And they’ll beg you for more!/Give ’em the old razzle dazzle/Razzle dazzle ’em/Back since the days of old methuselah/Everyone loves the big bamboozler

i've reworded some carols to suit me. i know it's past christmas, but no-one really cared anyway, so piss off.

Oh christmas tree, oh christmas tree
why is my fa-ther still here?

deck the halls with boughs of holly,
fa-lalalala-la-la-la-la
send father back to new guinea,
fa-lalalala-la-la-la-la

jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
oh, what fun it'll be to see my phone again, hey!

Nokia seems to have been taken out of Minority Report at the last minute. whilst watching a DVD copy at my aunt's place on christmas day [amongst brats running about whirling and blowing on noisemakers] i looked out for all the product placements and ads, be it for real products or otherwise. Lexus, Bvlgari, Guinness, but no Nokia!

surprising, considering the whole hoo-hah they had when Minority Report came out. the whole tie-in with the 7650 and the whole 'look into the future' thing with the plastic prop they used as a future phone in the movie.

but, they must have cut funding at the last minute or something. the phones used in the movie are now unrecognizable as any particular model, save for modified-3650 used in the advertisement-assault corridor scene. if you look closely you'll see 'connecting people' zooming past the same screen that had the modified-3650 spinning about.

but no Nokia logo. ha!

"There are too many questions
There is not one solution
There is no resurrection
There is so much confusion
And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love vibration
You make me feel
You make it shine

There are too many options
There is no consolation
I have lost my illusions
What I want is an explanation

And the love profusion
You make me feel
You make me know
And the love direction
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel
You make me shine
You make me feel

I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin
I got you under my skin

There is no comprehension
There is real isolation
There is so much destruction
What I want is a celebration

And I know I can feel bad
When I get in a bad mood
And the world can look so sad
Only you make me feel good"

- "Love Profusion", Madonna

insomnia

i've taken to not sleeping. meaning, for a day, i stay awake through the morning [i consider 12 AM to 12 PM the morning] and go about the rest of the next day feeling hung over.

why? this time it's because i slept through going to my sister's collection of her posting results. slept through meaning i was in bed, possibly snoring, when i was supposed to be going with her.

tomorrow i have been decreed to be the one accompanying her to her posted school [serangoon garden secondary, which i have thus far not heard of] to register and get appeal forms.

hence i came to the conclusion: if i do not sleep, i will not have a problem waking.

as Gustav Graves said in Die Another Day: "There'll be plenty of time for sleep when you're dead."

i'll be ok, so long i have my coffee and my panadol.

i wish i were in Laos too. however rough it is, it'll be a real vacation from home, unlike the the KL trip i just had.

oh. and i've just noticed that i've been forgetting to add the day of the week in a few of my previous posts. hmm.

"becasue we can can-can!"

- "Because We Can", Fatboy Slim

twelve-fifty-one, seven-thirty, fourteen-fifty-nine.

it's seven-sodding-thirty in the bloody morning.

i don't know why i am awake.

i hate my father, still.

he "helped himself" to cash from my wallet two days ago.

i eagerly await his return to Papua New Guinea.

and also the return of my SIM to me.

i am on what i expect to be the first of three cups of coffee.

i have sod-all to do right now.

someone help me.

please?

"Talk to me now I'm older
Your friends'll do 'cause I told her
Friday night's a bit lonely
Change your plans and then phone me

We could go and get forties
Fuck going to that party
Oh really, your folks are away now?
Alright, let's go
You convinced me

12:51 is the time my voice
found the words I sought
Is it this stage I want?
The world is shutting up for us
Oh we were tense for sure
But we was confident

Kiss me now that I'm older
I won't try to control you
Friday night's a bit lonely
Take it slow but don't warn me

We'd go out and get forties
Then we'd go to some party
Oh really, your folks are away now?
Alright I'm coming
I'll be right there"

- "12:51", The Strokes

mister cellophane

Chicago makes even Orchard Road seem magic.

i'm still waiting for it to feel like it's really my birthday, or at least like it really was just a few days ago.

i'm not sure if going out to watch Love Actually with matt, pat, vin, dax and xuan made it better or worse.

my moron of a father makes his return to Singapore today.

tomorrow, i shall be disconnected from Singapore's GSM network by his equally useless Nokia 8910.

don't call me, unless you'd like to deal with him, with just one more brain what a half-wit he'd be.

feel free to text me though. he doesn't know what SMS is.

"A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk you're bound to see him there
Unless that human being next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You
Know
Who. . .

Shoulda been my name
Mister cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there

I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister cellophane

'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there

I hope I haven't taken up too much of your time"

- "Mister Cellophane", John C Reilly

the seventeenth anniversary

today marks the seventeeth anniversary of my popping out of my mother's uterus in 1986.

bon anniversaire pour moi.

"The French are glad to die for love

A kiss on the hand
Maybe quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend

A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat or
Help you feed your *um* pussy cat

Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square cut or pear shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend"

- "Sparkling Diamonds", Nicole Kidman

the tan family goes to SITEX

MOTHER TAN: [points towards iBook on display at the Apple stand] That one iPod, har?

APPLE-HIRED ASSISTANT: [excitedly] Yes!

i have lost quite a bit of hope that one day Apple will re-educate the world and take over the Wintel universe, considering the kind of hired help they get for shindigs like SITEX, even if it's temp staff.

and, no, MOTHER TAN isn't my mother. my surname is Khoo. less common than the dime-a-dozen Tan. my mom actually knows what an iPod is and looks like, though her eyebrows shot past her forehead and brushed the cheap fabric ceiling of our Suzuki Swift GL when i told her that it costs eight hundred dollars.

turns out the Saab i thought was a new addition to Chuan Park wasn't. it's disappeared, though i'm not sure when. however, it would appear that someone's bought a black Hyundai Tuscani, the Korean excuse for a coupe, and parked it next to the resident lesbians' black Toyota MR2 roadster. très original.

un jour et compte

"I would die for you
I would die for you
I've been dying just to feel you by my side
To know that you're mine

I would cry for you
I would cry for you
I will wash away your pain with all my tears
And drown your fear

I will pray for you
I will pray for you
I would sell my soul for some thing pure and true
Someone like you

See your face every place that I walk in
Hear your voice every time I’m talking
You will believe in me
And I will never be ignored"

- "#1 Crush", Garbage

watching Chicago is much more difficult than i'd imagined.

mariah, james and andrew carey.

my VCD copy of Chicago skips like crazy. i thought i could get by on just the audio track after Roxie Hart started dancing like a derivsh on drugs, jumping all over the wide expanse of my LCD. then the audio track screwed up as well. it thought it was the cheap-ish Wearnes DVD player, but then i remembered exactly what kind of VCD it was. the bloody thing left me hanging after Cell Block Tango.

time to call in DVD-loaning favours.

if you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, i betcha you'd have done the same.

PAE briefing tomorrow. i don't know what the hell i'm going for, except maybe to wait for the party to be over.

daria, helen, jake and quinn morgendoffer.

"Lord knows he ain't got the smarts

Now he's shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap

Look at him go
Rattin' on me
With just one more brain
What a half-wit he'd be

If they string me up
Well, I'll know who brought the twine

That scummy,
Crummy ,
Dummy,
Hubby of mine"

- "Funny Honey", Rene Zelleweger

.oO

Trying hard to fit among you
Floating out to wonderland
Unprotected
God I'm pregnant
Damn the consequences

When I grow up
I'll be stable
When I grow up
I'll turn the tables

Blood and blisters
On my fingers
Chaos rules when we're apart
Watch my temper
I go mental
I'll try to be gentle

When I grow up
I'll be stable
When I grow up
I'll turn the tables

- "When I Grow Up", Garbage

Welcome to Chuan Park.

I HATE MY IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE OF A FATHER.

Welcome to Chuan Park.

Please beware of the sexually perverse and the outbreak of Dengue Fever [DF]. For your information, your family's bikes have already been stolen. Also, to avoid the frequent need to re-acclimatize to noise pollution, the following construction projects in the immediate vinicity will be carried out in overlapping time frames:

Nanyang Junior College,
Amaranda Gardens Condominium,
Goldenhill Park Condominium,
Lorong Chuan Station, Circle Line Stage 3.

We expect the first three projects to complete end-2003 or early 2004, after which the construction of Lorong Chuan Station will continue, until the year 2010.

The schedule for the construction company [Sato Kogyo (S) Pte. Ltd.] to invade your homes and take photographs of your unit to 'record the condition of buildings in the vicinity of the new MRT station prior to the start of construction works.' is already in your mailbox.

We wish you a plesant stay in Chuan Park.

what kind of IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE takes a look at the assorted Nissan Cefiros and Toyota Corollas here and decides that this is a decent place?

MY IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE OF A FATHER.

the same fucking IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE OF A FATHER that gambled and spent enough money away to have to sell, collectively:

one BMW 520i Individual,
one Nissan NX Coupe,
one Mazda 323 Astina,
one Saab 9000CD,
and one 5-room, 20th storey, city view, Toa Payoh HDB apartment

total value? estimated to be roughly two million singapore dollars.

i come home today, after bombing all over my Geography Paper Two, to find my bike gone. the chain and lock was on the ground, chain in pieces.

this place is fucked up. my IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE OF A FATHER's idea of a peaceful, decent place. and all this because the IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE needed to make a blatant statement of wealth and hence decided a HDB apartment is beneath him.

and he's coming back this week, supposedly. i say supposedly because he's been 'coming back' for months on end since June.

there are HDB estates safer than this cesspool of desperate thieves and perverts.

I HATE MY IDIOT, GOOD FOR NOTHING, CHEATING, LYING, ARSEHOLE OF A FATHER, AND I HATE THE GENERAL SHITLOAD OF SINGAPORE'S POPULATION THAT OCCUPIES THIS DUMP.

THE LOT OF YOU CAN GO FUCK THE FUCKING FUCK OFF.

and now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

"I can't use what I can't abuse
And I can't stop when it comes to you

You burned me out but I'm back at your door
Like Joan of Arc coming back for more

I nearly died
I nearly died
I nearly died

I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I cam to shut you up
I came to drag you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart

You burn and burn to get under my skin
You've gone too far now I won't give in
You crucified me but I'm back in your bed
Like Jesus Christ coming back from the dead

I nearly died
I nearly died
I nearly died

I came to knock you up
I came to cut you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I came to rip you up
I came to shut you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
Break your soul apart

I nearly died
I nearly died
I nearly died

I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I came to shut you up
I came to suck you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart

I can't stop when it comes to you
I can't stop when it comes to you
When it comes to you
When it comes to you"

- "Vow", Garbage

you think that's where it's at, but is that where it's supposed to be?

if you feel like you've seen read what you're about to read somewhere else before, it's because you have: what happens if something happens to your O Level examination paper?

i've been pondering this for some time now, and it suddenly became a lot more real when there was a mix-up in the collection of the Cheenese Paper Two on Friday - the same few teachers that didn't know how to operate the barcode scanners [that's what Aloyisus, the technician, was there for] collected Paper Two in a fashion that caused them to count, recount, check with the students, ensure that out papers were collected by the teacher with the bunned-up hair, count again, before letting us go whilst still fussing over the large stacks of paper.

what happens if Pat, the other people down the row and i have had their papers misplaced? anarchy at OneNorth?

i'm getting this strange feeling in my gut and in my head - i'm getting nowhere, and am going nowhere. what am i studying for? i can't answer questions pertaining to my future career or even what course i want to take in Poly, why i don't want to go to JC, etc. i'm a nowhere man, making my nowhere plans, to go nowhere.

i haven't, for example, decided that i want to become an academic driving my Mercedes-Benz E200 to and from NUS back/from a restored shophouse along Upper East Coast Road.

what happened to the me that wanted to become an airline pilot, driving a rosso barchetta 1987 Ferrari F40 and living in whichever building took over Shaik Maderseah Lane? I think he died when the lane was demolished.

what happened to the me that wanted to drive a metallic grey 2002 Saab 9-5 Aero Sportswagon, communting between my apartment at the Paterson Edge and my law office in Shenton Way? something happened last year. died in a car crash, i think. the offending cars seemed to be a red Suzuki Swift GL and a silver Hyundai World Coupe.....

what happened to the me that wanted to drive a matt black 1986 Saab 900S Cabriolet, working as a creative in an ad agency, copywriting [if that's the term] on my 15" Apple PowerBook G4 in Soho, London?

"Now, you sure you're not getting your hopes up?"

"'Course I am, that's what hopes're for."

unlike the masses, i dread the day the O Levels are over. that's when my fate is sealed, though i haven't a clue what kind of fate i want.

i've a little less than a week left. i seriously need help with my Elective History. something's gone wrong with my Geography. no use crying over spilt milk. they always say to picture something you really, really want at the end. how does that work out if you don't know what you want, or no longer want anything?

"Hey... Jaded
You've got your mama's style
But you're yesterday's child to me
So Jaded
You think that's where it's at
But is that where it's supposed to be
You're gettin' it all over me
X-rated

My my baby blue
Yeah I been thinkin' 'bout you
My my baby blue
Yeah you're so Jaded
And I'm the one that Jaded you

Hey... Jaded
In all it's misery
It will always be what I love... and hated
And maybe take a ride to the other side
We're thinkin' of
We'll slip into the velvet glove
And be Jaded"

- "Jaded", Aerosmith

the philosophy of Froot Loops

i'm eating softly-toasted tuna, olive oil and butter sandwiches as i tap-and-drag this entry out on my Palm Tungsten T. being handy in the kitchen has its benefits.

i spent about three hours in the kitchen this evening, helping bake and juice up cookies, muffins, brownies, pies and lemonade for my youngest sister's charity shindig later today. it's supposed to be in the aid of the Straits Times Pocket Money Fund. i feel like i'm the parent here or something - this, like running around countless neighbourhoods and Popular Bookstores for my siblings' schoolbooks last December, seems to be going above-and-beyond the duties of a "big brother".

SAMARIA: "how much longer before the brownies ready?"

LELANIE: "you sitting there watching the oven, you cannot tell is it? i'm washing the dishes here you - ohmygod what is that smell?!"

SAMARIA: "what smell?"

LELANIE: [pulling brownie tin hurriedly out of the oven] "ohmygod, burnt already, you see lah!"

yes, Lelanie is our maid. don't laugh at her - she uses a Motorola E365, with intergrated VGA digital camera, polyphonic ringing tones and a 65, 536-color screen, my personal reccomendation to her.

why are all the good movies always rated R(A)? i want to watch Kill Bill. i want to watch the Spanish Apartment. pirated VCDs, here i come.

i recently discovered Froot Loops came in green as well. green?! what conceivable flavor is that? leaf-juice? i leave Froot Loops alone for a bit and they go wonkers. is there some sort of commitee that decides new cereal colors? which was the fool that decided green was good for Froot Loops?

maybe i should listen to those TV ads which state estatically that a particular is available at 'All Good Music Stores'. i couldn't find Absolution by Muse anywhere in Toa Payoh. ended up buying Parachutes by Coldplay first. took me another few days to decide i wanted to commute to the 'Edge' at Parco Bugis Junction to buy Absolution. at least, having heard the CD, it was worth it.

"change everything you are
and everything you were
your number has been called

fights and battles have begun
revenge will surely come
your hard times are ahead

best, you've got to be the best
you've got to change the world
and use this chance to be heard
your time is now

don't let yourself down
and don't let yourself go
your last chance has arrived"

- "Butterflies & Hurricanes", Muse

someone in Chuan Park bought a Saab

yes, it's true. imagine my shock. there exists one other person possessing good taste in Chuan Park. i haven't seen the Peugeot 607 or the Alfa Romeo 147 since goodness knows how long, so they've likely disappeared. this leaves the Saab as the only non-tasteless car in Chuan Park.

my mum just came home with hair dyed several shades lighter than before. even she admits she looks like an ah lian, but she's ok with it.

MOM: [over phone to friend] "aye! wait until you see me then call me ah lian ok! don't anyhow ah-lian-ah-lian-ah-lian jing song like that okay!"

my brother also has decided that he wants to dye his hair for the duration of the end of year vacation. my mom is okay with that as well. what am i to do?

xuan's birthday came around on friday. here's a sampling of the gifts he got: a baseball bat, a protein shake consisting of 50 grams protein, and whipped cream down his underpants. the whipped cream didn't go so well, as it was likely very old; there was mold all over the cover and nozzle. plus, they broke the nozzle in the process of trying to hold him down for the kill.

that was after going for lunch with xuan and co. originally the plan was Thai Express, but when we got there it was still closed, hence we spent some time slumming it at Siglap Center McDonald's [i'm loving it!] and buying McMuffins either to justify/legalize our taking up three tables or to stave off hunger. later, we decided to just eat at the yong tau foo store near Siglap Center.

having gone through the period where my mother sold ready-to-cook yong tau foo at the Holland Village Wet Market, i've had enough yong tau foo to bust three-lifetimes' yong tau foo quotas. [believe it or not this was one of the better periods of my life. we even had a Saab 9000CD] but, to avoid being a whiny bitch on someone else's birthday, i went along with it.

trying hard to remember what i liked and what i didn't [actually what i didn't tend to throw up after eating], i grabbed five or six pieces to add to the collective plates, in case they favored the kinds of yong tau foo i'd rather not encounter again.

so imagine my suprise when we sat down to four large plates piled high with yong tau foo. each plate roughly the size of a typical QWERTY keyboard. and the auntie [i assume] running the place was kind enough to charge us a measly $5.50 per person, because it was xuan's birthday, and even quipped if we dared to come back again.

and, yes, i fell asleep during the O Level Cheenese Paper Two later on because i was too full.

apparently he will also be on the receiving end of a likely obscene t shirt on monday, for which i have contributed printing suggestions. wonder what the end result'll be.

makes me wonder what i'm going to do for my birthday, in twenty-five days.

"i think i'm drowning
asphyxiated
i wanna break this spell
that you've created

you're something beautiful
a contradiction
i wanna play the game
i wan't the friction

you will be the death of me
you will be the death of me

bury it
i won't let you bury it
i won't let you smother it
i won't let you murder it

our time is running out
our time is running out
you can't push it underground
you can't stop it screaming out"

- "Time Is Running Out", Muse

an incident involving an accident, automobile or otherwise

it's 10:45 AM.

my first O Level exam [barring the cheenese one] begins in one hour and forty-five minutes.

i cannot for the life of me find my entry proof.

my identification is safely tucked away in the family safe, to which i have no access.

isn't life interesting?

"Do we look like a car crash?
Baby tell me it ain't true
Cause if we look like a car crash
I don't know what the hell I'd do"

- "Car Crash", The Thrills

it's a drag, i know it's hard, but you're tearing her apart

breaking news: the world has has gone off its rocker.

oh, have we done that story already?

well, it has, anyway. people are:
-assasinating other people in their dreams [please do not tell me that 'white family sedan' was a Nissan Sunny. i WILL freak out],
-really, really, really missing the non-hallowed, brand-spanking new, smelling-like-money halls of Victoria School,

plus:
-my entire 'family' [mother, brother, sister, sister] is watching Harry Potter & The Scorcerer's Stone on HBO [of which my mother argued three months' free subscription out of StarHub CableTV], and they are loving it,
-no-one understands the brilliance of British literature [which is, incidentally, about all i'm reading now],
-the fucking irritating 'chihuahua' and 'i'm lovin' it' ads are still playing,
-people left-and-right are harping on about the Nokia N-Gage, but [thankfully] next-to-no-one is actually buying it,
-the next step in Sony Ericsson's Nokian-ness has been realized: the T630 is a T610 in new clothes and the TFT [as opposed to STN] screen is about all the major improvement over the T610
*there are people in this world naïve enough to believe that Hwa Chong Junior College would provide a shuttle bus service to Raffles Junior College
*there are also people in this world naïve enough to believe that giving out NeWater, stale copies of Seventeen and rocks with 'Geography' emblazoned in glitter on it will convince or even encourage other people to join their college/subject/cause
-i need a camera, now. later, it won't be of use any more

please note that points marked with an asterisk were gleaned from reading someone else's blog. i am not the kind of person who goes to an open house, be it a junior college's or otherwise. if you seriously thought i was there, schelping amogst the sad folk who've entered said college and had their hopes, dreams and preconceptions smashed AND the pre-college people who still have and hold the above-mentioned hopes, dreams and preconceptions, Who Are You And What Are You Doing Reading My Blog?

there is a reason why Nicholas Tan is the sole being of my acquaintance who isn't family and yet has my home phone number. my idiot of a brother gave it out to him. why? because he harrased my brother on his mobile, and the only reason why nicholas has my brother's mobile number is because i had to use his line when my own line got cut off, because my mother refused to pay my father's $600 worth of overseas calls on my line.

Vital Information For Your Everyday Life: when someone either repeatedly doesn't answer his mobile or continually presses the NO button on his Ericsson, hence rejecting your call, he Really, Really, Really doesn't want to talk to you. if you think that obtaining his home number and bagering him on that end will assist your effort to no end, then you're not that bright, are you?

it's the 2003 GCE 'O' Level' Physics Practical Examination tomorrow.

no, it hasn't set in yet.

yes, i will be like that for years to come.

"I'm afraid that there's much to be afraid of
Here today
And gone tomorrow
Don't end up in the gutter
Just like the one before
You're just the same
Such a loser

One mistake's all it takes
And your life has come undone
Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl
It's a drag
I know it's hard
But you're tearing her apart
Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl"

- "Breaking Up The Girl", Garbage

bad chihuahua. bad, bad chihuahua.

this entry took so long to get to print because, right after writing it, i thumbed through my archives and didn't feel like posting it anymore. however, now, unlike then, i'm on yet another Starbucks Double-Shot Expresso.

news to me:

- Matt watches soccer
- 'chihuahua' is supposedly a legitimate basis on which to write a song, and following that, an entire ad campaign for a world-renowned and maybe respected brand of cola
- Jessica Simpson can't differentiate chicken and fish, and wonders which catergory tuna falls under
- Lene Nystrom likes Linkin Park and names them as part of her inspiration
- Hillary Duff supposedly can sing
+ Shirley Manson will give away an award at the MTV European Music Awards
- but Christina Aguilera will be hosting it
- Chris Martin is dating Gywneth Paltrow
-- she supposedly will sing on Coldplay's third album
+ MTV Whatever Things actually has some rather good gags
- but they play some rather crappy videos in between
+ Nokia realizes its mistake with the oddly-keypadded 3650 and is releasing the new 3660 with a new 65 536-color screen and a normal keypad
- but the new keypad is squeezed back into the same circular shape and thus looks even worse
-- Nokia's new 7600 is a freak of a teardrop/leaf/coaster/slice of bread 3G phone
+ it's also a good means with which to laugh at Nokia


as above: the world has gone off its rocker. matt and pat have had some rift form between them, but continue to horse around in class, one chasing the other, holding hands, etc. i suspect it's all a farce, but whether it's for fooling the general public or fooling themselves is beyond me.

reading the old entries in my blog makes me wanna cry. that's partly why the link to the archives still read 'coming soon' for now - i can't seem to get them organized, re-reading instead of sorting them. aren't you supposed to look back at old diary/journal/blog entries and laugh?

i have betrayed my Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf loyalty and discovered the Starbucks Double Shot Expresso. five bucks of coffee squeezed into a small, dinky, little plastic cup, basically prescription-free, temporary prozac. if you don't believe me there are people who were at the post-prelim-pre-O-Level Physics Practial that have witnessed its effects.

Happy Aaron: As Rare As A Garbage Fan In Singapore

i just went to see my grandfather today [Lim side], the first time since his bypass operation. he looked frail, old and skinny. the scars of his operation looked painful. it's good he made it, after weeks of the ICU, but is he really happy to be? his blood sugar levels have risen since, and he now needs insulin injections three times daily, which my maid travels out to Ang Mo Kio for, because my uncle and aunt-in-law work, and my grandmother isn't really the best person to be giving away insulin injections. plus my maid is a trained nurse [or nurse's aide. can't remember which].

on the Khoo side of the family, my other grandfather [92 years old as of Febuary], is not in the pink of health either. having slipped and fallen recently, his left arm is still in a sling, and he can just barely feed himself. he really wants to see his favorite son, which happens to be my dear and loving father, and we haven't seen him since he returned from Cheena at the start of the SARS scare [roughly end-April/May].

if a repeat of what happened when my grandmother passed away occurs, this time i won't forgive him. years ago, when she was about to pass on, my first aunt called my mother to get us to go see him, but our dear father was doing [likely illegal/underhand/unscruplous] business in Malaysia. the second time she called, my father wasn't feeling well. when my father finally called them back, it was my second aunt [the handicapped one] who picked up, and she was kept in the dark because she's extremely emotional. so, my father was told that grandmother was fine. seeing no need to see his own mother if she didn't appear to be dying, the bastard fucked off to go do his own thing.

that night, my grandmother who had been sitting in her chair facing the door, waiting and hoping for her favorite son to show up, asked about my father. by then my first aunt was so angry with my father that he just told my grandmother not to wait for him; he's not coming.

that night, she passed away. when we were called and informed, my father whisked us away from our Shaik Madersah Lane to their Geylang Lorong 3 in the Mazda 323 Astina, arrived at the scene and promotly kneeled by my grandmother's side, making what i thought at that time was, and actually still do, a big show of crying and shouting, likely blaming my aunt for not telling him earlier.

the young primary-school me sat in silence on my aunt's bed in the same room, looking sadly at my grandmother's body. my three siblings, too young to understand the goings-on, nevertheless sat quietly next to me, looking out the window, up at the ceiling, down on the floor.

needless to say, my first aunt, whom my grandparents ignored [compared to the whims, money, BMWs and Porsches lavished on my father], and who had to find her own means of sending herself to England to study, but loved/loves them, never forgave my father, and, rightly, still hasn't.

i don't think my father's going to make it this time, either.

"He said I'm going to buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside my baby watch the orange glow
Some'll laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why
So I'm going to buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm going to buy this place, that's what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

And honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
As you mean to go on, as you mean to go on

So meet me by the bridge, meet me by the lane
When am I going to see that pretty face again
Meet me on the road, meet me where I said
Blame it all upon
A rush of blood to the head"

- "A Rush Of Blood To The Head", Coldplay

oh it's healing - bang bang bang

today, after/because of the EMath exam, i felt like such a pile of shit that i walked from school to the Marine Parade Community Library before climbing on a bus home, because i guessed, correctly, no-one in a right state of mind would do the same.

"'cause you're the storm that I've been needing
and all this peace has been deceiving
I need some wind to get me sailing
so it's the storm that I believe in

you fill my heart, you keep me breathing
'cause you're the storm that I believe in

and if you want me I'm your country"

- "You're The Storm", The Cardigans

all hail the t-six-ten

SonyEricsson's found its breakthrough phone.

i won't buy a T610, unlike khooky, my two aunts and soon my brother, not because it's a bad phone, but because it's Nokian. this may very well be the biggest reason why it's so popular, but Sony's trashed exactly what i like about Ericsson. they've taken away the Yes/No interface on the higher-end models, making it that much more inefficent because they now need a Back key and can't have the Option key anymore, so they need to instate Nokian soft keys. the sum of the T610's parts is greater than the whole because the glue [interface] that holds them together has gone bad. they've yet to come up with a phone that i consider an upgrade to my T68m, hence i declined my mom's offer to upgrade my phone, passing the oppotunity to my brother.

it seems that Nokia really does rule the world. and we all know that those who rule, or are bent on ruling, the world are mostly evil.

one more thing, before i go to sleep. why do people put shit like "no mood to talk, prelims now" onto their blogs? i see entries reduced to one line, i see paras of mindless text. if you don't have anything to say, don't say anything.

"come and conquer and drop your bombs
cross my borders and kill the calm
bear your fangs and burn my wings
I hear bullets singing

and if you want me I’m your country
if you win me I’m forever - oh yeah!"

- "You're The Storm", The Cardigans

under the influence

the Khoo family has been partially disabled by the influenza virus.

somehow my mom came home one day last week coughing away, and younger of my two sisters promptly ran a fever of SARS-like porportions, sneezing away and wrapping herself in a blanket, sitting on the living room couch, staring blankly at the TV.

of course, i caught it from her, not realizing that i was especially tired and that my nose was running something fierce until after my physics exam, when i kept wiping my nose off the back my hand on the bus. don't retch. i do not carry tissues with me unless i am aware that i am not feeling well, and sitting on board an SBS Transit bus with mucus pooling on my upper lip was more of an evil than wiping it off the back of my hand.

so i went home, felt depressed, moaned, groaned and bitched about how i was feeling, took flu and vitamin C tablets, then went along for maths tuition which i desperately needed, impaired hearing [i was going "huh?" and "what?" the whole day] and lethargy or otherwise.

it was a horrible experience, because i scarcely got anything out of it, only managing to ask questions and try to memorize some formulae.

let me tell you that attending a Combined Khooky class is much more fun than staying in bed, unable to sleep. it doesn't help that when i try to do anything productive otherwise, because you're too tired to. this was proven by my falling asleep at my books, my couch, and my keyboard. if you think that's funny, than wait till it happens to you, and you end with painful prints of keys on your forehead and blocks of rubbish characters sent over to whoever you were talking to online.

"I’m an angel bored like hell
and you're a devil meaning well
you steal my lines and you strike me dumb
come raise your flag upon me

and if you want me I'm your country
if you win me I’m forever - oh yeah!"

- "You're The Storm", The Cardigans

never cried any, anyway

toyed with the idea of getting really hammered this evening.

didn't work out as planned. i've seen people drunk, and i'm nothing like that. last time i drank Hooch, i just became very serene, sitting on the couch as i watched the pricks that came around to my sister's birthday party mess up the apartment and get the floor all wet, creating a ruckus and too much noise. i just dropped everything i was picking up, snapped a bottle open without hesistation and just gulped it down.

there were people [sister's guests] younger than me, sitting in the corridor, sipping Hooches and Reefs, anyway. i still have that first all-to-myself bottle on my bedroom shelf.

didn't work out tonight. i got not much of a response from the one person worth telling who was online, and the rest were either snoozing or have blocked me. it's come to the point where i both care too much and not at all anymore.

three people i know recently got a SonyEricsson T610: Khooky, my aunt Esther and my aunt Jacq. Khooky i know made the [i hope] informed decision to buy his T610 in Abyss Blue instead of the dime-a-dozen Aluminium Haze, hopefully both my aunts were similarly inspired. and if it all goes to plan, my brother will trade in his Nokia 7250 [trade-in value $400] for a T610. right now i'm not sure what to make of my brother potentially having a better mobile than me.

more additions to our apartment: two Toshiba home theater systems [one for my mom's bedroom. can you say "overkill"?] and one 21" Toshiba flat-screen TV, to replace the 14" Thomson Life previously taking pride of place in my mom's room. the amazing thing about the Toshiba is that it has FOUR [4] speakers, but only MONO sound. and it doesn't even have teletext.

the Panasonic stereo system has been moved into my room, so i can now sleep to A Rush Of Blood To The Head played crisply over proper speakers, instead of blasting it through my tinny Sony backphones.

incidentally, Matt's two-hour-late decision [i waited for his opinion before buying. the CD store closed before i got there, in the end. non-instantaneous gratification sucks] of Coldplay over Robbie Williams when i texted him regarding a new CD purchase has led me to my decision to add Coldplay to my 'like' list. now it's Garbage, Coldplay, The Cardigans, The Cardigans pushed to third because i haven't actually bought any of their albums.

khooky's combined class today was interesting. sitting roughly between Matt and Khooky during such an event is like watching a good tennis match. swivelling eyballs abound, with the occasional snapping head. Mr Kenneth Wee [or KeWee as he is fondly called] just tells the class "don't listen to Matthias" and moves along. not very entertaining.

i probably got more out of those four hours than the entire week gone past.

i just got an IBM ThinkPad TransNote, but lack the means to charge it up, let alone boot it up. if anyone has a spare ThinkPad power adaptor...

i still want to go watch Down With Love. i'm just not ready to admit to myself that i'm sad enough to go watch a film alone, and being prelim time, i doubt anyone's gonna come along anyway.

my grandfather [mom's side] is still in the TTSH ICU, and i hear the success rate of a heart bypass operation is anyone's guess. the other grandfather's 93 years old. he's not around for much longer - recently fell ill a couple of times. however, his son isn't coming back to see him [for the last time?]

all this, right here, right now. somewhere, someone's going "if you had friends/if you were nicer to people ... "

what good will friends do now?

"I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

Can't find it in the bible
Can't find it on TV
Can't find it in diamonds
There's something inside me that just won't allow me to
Find it in music
Can't find it in my soul
Can't find it in chocolate
Oh babe I can't hide it
I can't even find it in you

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

There's no way she can kiss you
The way that I do
I heard that you miss me
Oh you should be careful of who you keep talking to
Long nights without you have taught me to be strong
I've cut all my losses
Think no more about it 'cause I couldn't find it in you

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of the road
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

There was a time I thought I'd die
If you should ever leave me high and dry
Now you don't want me any more
It's time to settle the score

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my tether
I've torn all your letters up
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore

I just don't care anymore
I've reached the end of my rope
And it's time that I told you so
I just don't care anymore
Won't cry these tears anymore"

- "Can't Cry These Tears", Garbage

strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silver moon's sparkling

[it's finally over]

my beloved family is now in possesion of three refrigerators.

one Sharp 3-door fridge, with seperate Freezer, Cooler and Crisper compartments, purchased in 1997 as a housewarming gift from my first aunt [father's side] for the Toa Payoh flat.
one Toshiba bar fridge, with combined Freezer, Cooler and Crisper compartments and Gravity Control system for the Healthy Cool cold water dispenser, purchased in 2003 with a discount from my fourth aunt [mother's side], who works for Best Denki.
one Akira wine cooler, with glass door, purchased in 2003, discount deemed unneccesary due to odious cheapness of product, but obtained anyway.

who needs three fridges? our wine is of the piss-water variety, and you don't cool bottles of XO, VSOP and Louis the 13th whatnot. i appreciate the cold water dispenser, but i have a bladder bigger than the three liters the water tank provides for. when she screams about the power bill next month, i'll consider smashing the Akira's glass door in.

i found a few 'i hate khoo kayyong' webpages while being bored online yesterday. coincidentally, most are also 'i hate matthias chew' webpages. also, one or two imply/outright declare matt and khooky homosexual dogs. hilarious reading.

while khooky is not having an allergic reaction to Teachers' Day, i certainly am. couldn't get my mask on this morning, and so i didn't get out of bed. i wasn't sure i wanted to witness the Shiny Happy People 2002 Edition make their inaugural pilgrimage from VJC to VS, considering it's enough of an effort to watch them head off into VJC land evey bloody morning, while on the last leg of your hour-long epic journey from Chuan Park to 2 Siglap Link, on board a crappy Mercedes bus emptied of its malicous payload of giggly, noisy, bitchy, dyky secondary and tertiary schoolgirls, listening to Garbage remind you that you should have, shouldn't have.

/don't end up in the gutter/just like the one before you/you're just the same/such a loser/

one of them contacted me later in the afternoon, asking if i saw the whole throng of us in vs today?

i had my mask on by then, so i didn't tell him to fuck off.

i did, however, tell Nicholas to fuck off, because he would not stop bugging me about whatever shit happened for Teachers' Day. i cannot be less concerned about the half-attempt to entertain all and sundry [teachers, students, liquorice allsorts] in school for the 'celebrations'. it probably worked out, which is what disgusts/disappoints me.

i tried to watch Chicago, but i got put off by the middle of the first song, All That Jazz, because Matthias has a habit of performing and dancing to songs from Chicago [we have the avi clips to prove it], and the lovely Catherine Zeta-Jones was continuosly morphing into Matt gyrating. she had a bad haircut in that movie anyway.

watching About A Boy on the 37-inch Sharp Aquos? good.
watching the MTV Video Music Awards on the same 37-inch Sharp Aquos, Christina Aguilera's 'Dirrrty' blown up in the LCD flat-panel's attempt at making her look not-so-thrashy, trampish song over the SRS-enhanced audio feed? not so good.

the same videos, repeated over and over again, were consistently nominated for most of the awards. 50 cent bagged three 'spacemen' for In Da Club.

interestingly, though, The White Stripes' Seven Nation Army was nominated for Best Rock Video. unsurprisingly/expectedly, it lost out to Linkin Park's Somewhere I Belong, which mostly consisted of much CGI and a bed in flames.

for this, they pre-empt VH1? plus, i missed what looked like the opening, with Britney Spears and Chirstina Aguilera camping it up in thrashy bridal gowns, covering Madonna's Like A Virgin, Madonna herself popping up after the 'duet', singing a remixed Hollywood.

why is this interesting to me? the Hollywood remix sounded good, and the whole scene confirmed that BS and CA really hate each others' guts. this is the, what, fifth time they've done a duet? it's like the Mariah Carey/Whitney Houston When You Believe scenario, except MC and WH had the prudence to make it a one night stand. plus, CA is doing a tour with BS's ex, Justin Timberlake [which Avril Lavinge mispronouced, on purpose i hope, as Justin Timberlass].

the silver lining of this dark cloud: there isn't one.

isn't this where i show a distasteful disregard for cliché and sign off with "good-bye, [cruel?] world"?

haha.

"Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me"

- "Kiss Me", Sixpence None The Richer

Part Number P10293U - Palm™ Tungsten™ T Stylus 3-Pack - S$27.84

i've lost another stylus. my appetite for these shiny metal sticks is costing me an orange Yusof Ishak each time i lose one. it's the second one since i got my TT in march.

Khooky's fun when drugged. he just sits there, smiling to himself and looking dazed, like Matt on a good day. apparently he wasn't feeling well, and five seconds into his class i knew he was drugged. allergic reaction to Teachers' Day?

i will be scrounging around for my stylus if anyone needs me. [unlikely, that]

"Burn down all your idols
Destroy your idols
Create a scene
There goes all your reason
It's helter skelter
It's not a dream

Come down from the altar
Remove your blindfold
What do you see
Nothing left to do here
There's nothing new here
It's all the same

You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?"

- "Subhuman", Garbage

Blue-Gray Billabong Wallet

i'm back on the tracks again. they had my wallet! it took some doing, because i couldn't properly describe 'Blue-Gray Billabong Wallet' in Cheenese, and the staff at the interchange, predictably, didn't understand much English. the person in charge of the interchange was very kind, though, and he told me i was very lucky.

why am i very lucky and not just 'lucky'? because Service 105 passes through Orchard Boulevard between Toa Payoh and Jurong East. why, i do  not know, but imagine this scenario:  Heeren Shops/Orchard Cineplex/Linkin Park/Metallica/Stussy/77th Street poseur boards Service 105 at Orchard Boulevard. finds a Blue-Gray Billabong Wallet with $103 in it. the rest, including my wallet, is history.

thank you, whichever bus captain returned my wallet. i thought i'd lost it forever, but what you did made my day.

"Music stations always play the same songs
I'm bored with the concept of right and wrong

Everybody comes to Hollywood
They wanna make it in the neighbourhood
They like the smell of it in Hollywood
How could it hurt you when it looks so good?"

- "Hollywood", Madonna

Did You Know...

...that it takes SBS Transit Service 105 one-and-a-half hours to get to Jurong East Interchange from Toa Payoh?

where do i find the time to sit down in front of my PC and wax lyrical about SBS Transit's inefficency, you ask?

that's because i'm not. i'm, right now, at 09:48pm, hurtling towards Raffles Place Interchange in a metal cylinder, underground, to Transfer To A East-Bound Train heading for Jurong East, where my wallet is currently being held, writing this entry on my Tungsten T.

why? because i dropped my wallet on the bus while going to tuition.

losing your wallet is hell. see, if i lose my Ericsson, i can just buy another. my contacts are backedup on my Palm. if i lose my Palm, i can just buy another. my data is backed up on my PC. but if i lose my wallet, my cash, my Student Identification Pass, my IC, my Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf drink card with 10 stamps, my library receipts, they're not backed up anywhere. you can't HotSync your cash and IC back into your new Billabong/Braun Buffel/etc wallet. you can't resend your SIP via a Bluetooth connection.

hence, i'm losing two hours' sleep, spending the time heading to Jurong East to get my wallet tonight, mainly because it will be handed over the police after 24 hours of receipt, as my wallet contains a sizable chunk of change.

"You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?"

- "Subhuman", Garbage

hare hare krishna

i've finally manged to get Subhuman by Garbage. the song's rare because there were only 5000 copies of the 'single' [it's not a bona-fide single, because Subhuman isn't on any of their albums] made. thank you, MPEG Layer 3. Subhuman is every bit the lyrics promised. plus i now share Joycelyn Yik's view that Garbage's b-sides, unlike most other groups, are equally good if not better than their singles.

i've spent the day turning down invites, including my mom's for lunch. she's now at some pub, drinking beer and watching the EPL. somehow i feel my mom would have a much better time in my place, as a secondary school boy. i've sorted out too many Blaster, Welchia and Sobig viruses problems, some of them other peoples' problems, and done too little in other departments.

Full Frontal is an excellent movie. The Guru is hilarious. Chicken Rice War is the best homegrown movie made, knocking Forever Fever to second. Home Run is a ridiculous, heart-wrenching waste of time. i want to go watch Down With Love and Freaky Friday, but who with?

physics preliminary practical examination tomorrow, and no calcuator. i've never wanted any Casio this much, if ever at all. however, in the process of wanting one, i've learned that Jonathan Dax and Hongxuan need one as well, but not for tomorrow like i do. how this helps is unclear, but it's interesting all the same.

does my future bank on Casio? wish me luck.

"Hare Hare Krishna
Was that your sister
A cover girl
A wasted prima donna
She lost her way here
She disappeared

Come back to your altar
And build a fire
It's getting cold
Nothing stops you in here
There's not a soul here
You're all alone

You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?
You're going down, down, down
How low can you go?"

- "Subhuman", Garbage

never send a substitute to do your job

i got a C6 for my Cheenese O Level Exam, with a Merit in the oral component. exactly the same as I managed last year. i not ecstatic, but it's more than i can say for some people. since the HOD was away on a trip to Cheena, the subject head took over. he gleaned zero respect from the students as he attempted to reprimand them, and i almost felt sorry for the bugger. almost.

i'm retaking the exam. no point in not retaking, and having that much free time in the library would possibly make me rip my brains out. don't get me wrong, i appreciate the free time, but too much sitting there, listening to inane conversation from those not retaking and other assorted allsorts [it's like they're trying Really Hard to convince me that they're all female poseurs], re-reading what i've read, etc. plus the lower secondary runts are noisy, and all they do is get in your way. i once had to literally drag five runts out of my way when going up the staircase for Khooky's class.

however, i now realize that retaking the exam costs more then the $17 [or so i'm told] that i have to pay as exam fees. a part of my sanity goes along with that seventeen bucks, as i sit in Cheenese class, doing unhelpful compos, unhelpful workbook excersises and unhelpful lessons, remediation or otherwise. they forced us to stay back for remedial classes last term. did it help? why would it now?

i'm beginning to get home later and later these days, be it for school or tuition or other crap like dropping off my Sony/Palm/Ericsson for service, and in the interests of sleep, i rarely do anything else when i get back to my house in the dark weekday night, except for eating and showering. how un-depressing.

in other news, more people than i originally thought block me on their MSN Messenger Contact Lists. hmm. so much for All Things Remaining Constant.

"If we sleep together
Will you like me better
If we come together
We'll go down forever
If we sleep together
Will I like you better
If we come together
Prove it now or never

Make me a pretty person
Make me feel like I belong
Make me hard and make me happy
Make me beautiful

The emptiness
The craziness
Satisfy this hungriness
Darling
How would it feel?"

- "Sleep Together", Garbage

"Attention students: the school is now officially on fire. Please begin your Emergency Evacuation Procedure now. Repeat: the school is now..."

[Blogger has a character limit on post titles. the original title read as follows:

"Attention students: the school is now officially on fire. Please begin your Emergency Evacuation Procedure now. Repeat: the school  is now officially on fire. Please evacuate. Thank you."]

Received : Friday, 15th August 2003 06:33 am
From  : omanager@slss.edumin.co.sg
To  : allstaff@slss.edumin.co.sg
Re  : Today's Emergency Exercise

Hi all

As you are all doubtlessly aware by now, there will today be an Emergency Exercise at 11:30 am, sharp. Teachers, I understand that you have a tight schedule to run [especially with SARS affecting us this year], but please allow the students to leave the classroom when the announcement is made. Please make sure, though, that the students evacuate only after the verbal announcement and not immediately after the emergency siren.

Most of you have been briefed about this exercise already, but in case you weren't at the meeting yesterday evening, I mentioned that I have had some equerries from teachers on gate duty at the carpark, regarding their exact duties. For you teachers, your duty is simply to shut and man the gates during the exercise. This way, we will be able to block vehicular access to the school and prevent students from escaping, all while the school is 'on fire'. I'm particulary proud of this last stroke of genius by the committee. It is really an effective way of ensuring that the exercise runs efficiently, without un-expected interruptions.

The AV Club has been instructed to prepare a sound system for use in the carpark. I have requested for a larger, louder system, but Miss Kali informs me that this is un-feasable. The I/C will have to make do with whatever it is she comes up with, as the Club's students will be involved in the exercise.

That being all, let's make this a great Emergency Exercise. Remember, in this day and age of un-determinable terrorist attacks and SARS, Drills Save Lives.

--- End Of Message ---

- "Shut Your Mouth", Garbage

the Samsung office

this is the first time i've been near a in PC in 24 hours, and the Internet just got a whole lot emptier.

but first, a sideline [and this's well worth the distraction, too. it's an Aaron Has A Heart moment]. celebrations for my mother's birthday [today] begun [like with Christmas] twelve days ago, with the pubbing and the clubbing and the dining. i'm just thankful that she didn't drag me along. today, i got white lilies delivered for her. they're her favorite flowers, and she loved them. [apparently she got married with white lilies as well - i should know, i was there] i think that one moment when she got them was worth the week-and-a-half's allowance i spent on the flowers.

i had to spend $9.10 on a cab ride to school this morning to avoid tardiness. but to sweeten the ordeal of the morning, i got called in to the P's office, together with Matt and Dax. it was diffcult for the left side of my brain not to point out that there was this [zen/meditation? not for me, but one man's meat...] device spurting out random jungle sounds [much akin to one of the polyphonic ringing tones on the Samsung A800] in his office. the left side was trying hard not to burst out laughing, especially since he kept pausing for the monkey to stop screeching. the right side of my brain took over and responded in those even tones i tend to use when i get really... emotional?

naw. that's not the right word. one doesn't speak in even tones when one is emotional or passionate about something, does one? maybe that says something about what i'm emotional/passionate about [nothing?]. to sum up, here's a lesson in Cause & Effect:

Cause 1 - the P doesn't like the photo of Pat And His Fingers on the homepage of Dax's blog, because he was being vulgar in the Victoria School Uniform. [which i find understandable, believe it or not]
Effect 1 - Free Open Diary screwed up and he can't remove the photo, so he's locked his blog.

Cause 2 - the material on Matt's blog is found to be objectional, for obvious reasons
Effect 2 - all that remains on Matt's blog is one solitary full-stop

Cause 3 - i walked along the seventh-floor linkway.
Effect 3 - Ms Ernie stopped me and quipped that she could get my Billabong duffel bag for seven dollars in Thailand. first person to make me smile all week.

one thing he said really took the piss, though. Ang questioned my comment on Mr Tan and Mr Lai two entries ago. asked if i was, by my comparison, an extremely macho man/person. i told him i couldn't define myself, which was true. but it doesn't take a genius to know that i definitely do not consider myself prime, grade A, alpha-male. i, who hates PE? i, who hates soccer? i, who hates mindless physical exertion [aka "insert sport here"]?

you'd have to know very little about me to think that.

"I never claimed to be your savior
I said I had a dirty mouth
I've got to keep myself together
You know I hate to disappoint
A masochistic lamb to slaughter
Maybe you missed the point

I'm feeling small
I'm climbing the walls
I don't let it show

Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it'd go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb

Maybe I could write a letter
To help me with my self-esteem
You should get to know me better
No one's ever what they seem

I'm feeling small
Climbing the walls
I don't let it show

Now that you know what you know
I bet you wish that it'd go
You'll never come sucking your thumb
Better off dumb"

- "Dumb", Garbage

whatafish

to the four i had lunch with yesterday: if you thought i was, i wasn't kidding about the anti-depressants.

"When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand"

- "Don't Know Why", Norah Jones

Movie by CLIE

hah. if it's honest responses they want, it's honest responses they'll get. i got called down for the NE Quiz for the third time in five years. it was being run by three female teachers, two complete fairies, and one disgraced fish-cage contractor. i did not accept Mr Tan's explanation that it was a random selection. I Think I'm Paranoid.

i missed the Black Stripes concert [a cleverly-disguised mock UN conference in drag] because:
- i didn't know the when and where
- my mobile line was cut [my father ran up $700+ of charges, and my mom would only pay it with his money]
- my sister was hogging the phone, and i wasn't going to bitch with her to talk to Matthias
- Dax couldn't lend me his Ixus, anyway.

a shot of Hongxuan in his costume, together with an explaination as to why he was/is gay, made me wish i had bothered. i cannot even begin to imagine what Matthias wore, and what he was doing in liason with a cow. plus the fashion/strip show sounded interesting, as per the picture Matthias painted for my benefit.

also, Streats is quickly becoming Singapore's Hello!/The Sun. [Of Monks and Mercs?]

"Victoria principal faces parents' ire - School head Ang Pow Chew defends $200,000 eco-garden, justifies high costs"
- Streats, Front Page, Thursday, July 10, 2003

we got blasted by Mr Ang for that. goodness know what it had to do with us, except to provide entertainment. plus, today's Streats published a comment by Lee Han Shi, which makes direct, personal digs at Mr Ang. this is how you sell papers. this is how you get my attention. not with some twins' death, or some device that converts piss and shit into water.

Khooky seems to be having fun with having his own classroom. besides the "Land Mines Are Not Toys" posters [i'm all for people not killing themsleves with discarded lands mines and cluster bombs, but do they really need huge posters that look to me to be saying "NO" in whatever language they're in? aren't they a bit patronizing? wait, hold that thought. yeah, the posters fit Khooky very well.], there are now Mao-era posters no doubt framed with 50x70cm IKEA RAKET frames, and

- "Hollywood", Madonna

snotty, shitty, five-year-old

i am in the fucking-thirteenth-level-of-taoist-hell. my sister is having a birthday party, and this boy, one of the snotty, shitty, five-year-old classmates of hers, has a SonyEricsson P800.

fucking bastard. and what the hell is he doing with the Symbian UI OS? drawing happy fun scrawlings on his equally-snotty-shitty-five-year-old-friends' photographs, taken with the built-in VGA-resolution digital camera.

i will likely report on the better half of my day [including Ms Ernie's wedding], when i have backed down from:

A - the emergency vasectomy session
B - the mirgrane caused by ten screaming kids whom i would LOVE to murder
C - the window-ledge of my thriteenth-floor Chuan Park Type A Luxurious Condominium [Special Offer - one month only - 17 parking lots ONLY $1]

"I came to cut you up
I came to knock you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
I came to shut you up
I came to suck you down
I came around to tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
Tear your little world apart
And break your soul apart"

- "Vow", Garbage

shut up, you annoying little poseur, Part II

i had to go out into the world and help people today. yech. i had to schelp into poor people's territory, where schools like Bedok View Secondary were a literal stone's throw away. it was funny watching the poor. some didn't even have doorbells on their doors. i gave up the idea of asking people for donations and just carried stuff, lest i break out into delirious laughter at the so wonderfully retro time machine we've unconvered in Bedok South Avenue 3. i even managed to get a glimsp of intra-family backstabbing. see, Bedok View Secondary School was scheduled to do exactly the same thing [collect old newspapers, clothes, etc] four days from today. their operation, apparently, is approved by the police and their town council. i was sniggering away after i read they notice posted at the first lift lobby we were at. my group shamelessly solicited donations from a flat which we all saw a Bedok View Seocndary student walk into. the poor bugger looked on helplessly as his father gave away the donations of canned food, old clothes and newpapers. he even had the letter we spammed their mailboxes with. i had to laugh and laugh and laugh.

there was a PAP Community Federation right next to the blocks our class was doing. this, combined with the MOTOMORPH bus that we got onto to get there, was prime teaser material against Matt. however i made no more than a few lame attempts. wasn't really in the mood, and it wasn't helped by the anti-drug and pro-family crap they tried to push onto me at school. yech. maybe i should start the anti-depressants like my doctor recommended after all.

later, when a groups of us marched towards civilization, we were accosted in the Tanah Merah MRT toliet. this American kid pulled something i assume to be straight out of Jackass: The Movie. thankfully, i had watched clips on MTV, and went along with it.

Nick thought i knew him.

Alvin thought he was insane.

if there's one thing i've learnt from my tuition teacher, it's to avoid provoking the insane. hmm. i think i should work for Mammon Inc.

- "The Rafters", Moby

shut up, you annoying little poseur.

it's cute when stupid people are angry.

look at Matt's blog, that letter from Linkin Park Land

then, tell me: is this the kind of student we are trying to bring into the real world?

sends letters to oneself, speaks the ubiquitous mother tongue of the sk8ter bois, and is the prefect Victorian. that means he's been blindly conned into the idealism of being a gentlemen, professional and sportsman. sheep. baa-bloody-baa. does he use a Nokia too? i assume the typical 8250. 8310? 6510? [nah, too tasteful, even for a Nokia]. he's the exact type of human being that my father depends on to make his huge profit on his illegal gambling business in Paupa New Guinea [incidentally, neither of my parents are grateful to the government. my father evident isn't/cannot be, and my mom always votes opposition at the GEs, and railed endlessly at the PAP as they drove past in their lorry in the recent one, because the consituency we were in at the time experienced a walkover. she also hollered at me when i brought up a PAP poster/banner thing, which i did for a lark]

one thing: how many Brians could Matt possibly have?

i think i'll print the letter out, annotate it in red marker, and then scan it back in on my CanoScan [oh! i have my scanner set up! how about that?], after which it goes onto the internet. i'm not giving up such a good oppotunity to laugh at the stupid and lift my spirits.

hey, wait, i'd love some hate mail too: garbage@singnet.com.sg don't bother with the porn and spam. i get enough of it, what with my dictionary-word userID.

postscript: after a harrowing conversation, i decieded to remove this entry. however, 5 seconds later, after re-reading it, i changed my mind. Matt, what do you expect of me? NiceAaron? of course you get AaronTechBitch. so does everyone else.

"I know how to hurt
I know how to heal
I know what to show
And what to conceal

I know when to talk
And I know when to touch
No one ever died from wanting too much

The world is not enough
But it is such a perfect place to start, my love
And if you're strong enough
Together we can take the world apart, my love"

- "The World Is Not Enough", Garbage

good evening, mr president.

The Victoria Challenge.

a huge grammatical error that's so attended to and ignored, all at the same time.

it started yesterday, the day after our Resiliency Training, where much sex was talked ["watching porn together is good for you"], and i was taught that nothing is my fault. whilst i was briefing the cameramen and registering their cameras, cell phone numbers and routes, it came to light that one of the groups didn't have a camera. i was going to explode, but i went to see if the AV could lend us one of theirs. i called Miss Ernie, but she needed help, so i ran over and asked later.

turns out the School Hall's Epson projector's control panel was jammed from over-manupilation [or at least i think so. i didn't take the time to diagnose] i had to use the remote control and switch the input mode from the stage. which gave me an excellent oppurtunity to break in/show off my new Ericsson HBH-10 Bluetooth Headset. all while Mr Maran instructed the students on silent behaviour, mere seconds before the Guest Of Honour was due to arrive. A very hairy situation. exactly the kind i handle well.

Mrs DeSouza complimented me when i ran into her later, while i was walking about, saying that i was about the only one who knew what they were doing. while one might not be able to dispute that, i do not expect Miss Ernie to be familiar with the new equipment, what with the teaching, planing, and other things she has on her mind. however, AnnaTechBitch's mind seems to be completely devoid of anythng substantial. what they paying her for? is this how tax money is spent by the government & The MOE? i couldn't borrow a camera from the AV Department because she hadn't unpacked anything yet, but she isn't familiar with the new equipment, either! what has she been doing for the past month?

clearly, AnnaTechBitch wasn't doing her job again. but, then again, what do/can you expect from a transferred office clerk? i expect they were desperate for someone to fill Mrs Tan's position, so they plucked out the first person they saw in the general office. [there was a nice opening for a racist shot right there in that last sentence, but i will not take that shot, because her incompetence is more than enough to poke about, without having to resort to racist remarks]

AnnaTechBitch has wanted to quit since Speech Day 2001. and December 2001. and Speech Day 2002. and December 2002. and pre-move-Marine-Parade-is-too-far-for-me March, April, May & June 2003. yet she is still here, bungling up the AV Department, long after having me "let go" from the department.

Case In Point: she was asked to get a replacement cable for the rostrum condenser microphone [also at the VC Launch] the standard is a female floor port and a male microphone port. so, those still following me would be able to tell that we needed a male-female cable [those of you who think that i'm talking about transsexuals or sex, Jonathan Dax's blog is the one for you. go away] AnnaTechBitch provided a male-male cable. Miss Ernie was mad. but not in front of AnnaTechBitch, with is what puzzled me. why be so [fake] nice to her, instead of telling her to warn of her next

menstruation WAV/AIFF Select an audio format to hear this word.
men·stru·a·tion [ mènstroo áysh'n ] noun

monthly discharge from the womb: the monthly process of discharging blood and other matter from the womb that occurs between puberty and menopause in women and female primates who are not pregnant

"My class' challenge was to give out greeting cards and copies of the school magazine to 127 establishments in the East Coast area, so in this way we're not just doing something that only involves the school, but the community itself, by saying 'hello' to the neighbors in our community"

i gave that speech all night long at the gala event [VS Cremonial Move Guest Of Honor: President S R Nathan Saturday 28th June 2003 05:45pm] The President was warm and easy-going, interested in our challenge, and shook my hand twice. i didn't expect it because i was told not to attempt physical contact, but he offered his hand, and i shook it before anyone could think/see that i was contemplating it. he didn't stick to some standardized hello-what-did-you-do-that's-nice-thank-you-goodbye. he asked me why we didn't stop my his house. i wanted to say that it was because this anti-PAP friend of mine planned the stops, but instead i told him that we were right opposite, at the Eurasian Communty House.

he started to go after thanking me, but almost imperceptively turned back and shook my hand again. Miss Toh and Mr Hazrin later asked me if it was cold or wet. it was neither. it wasn't like i was meeting Enzo Ferrari or Shirley Manson, but how many people got to shake the hand of their own President? twice? i just wish someone took my photo.

after tending to more guests, and as the night slowed down, Benjamin, James, Jerome, Dax, Matt, Pat, and etcetera came over to disturb my booth. Benjamin tried to play the SARS-vivor rap over the speakers, from his Apple iPod. he succeeded on the third try, while i was in the toliet. i grabbed the power outlet and unplugged the speakers. how he got the SARS-vivor rap onto his iPod, i do not want to know.

final word on the Ericsson HBH-10: some said it was ridiculous, Matt said it made me look like a geek, [probably relative to him, one who cannot set up a scanner to save his life] quite a number said it was cool, Edgar Chia's group on the seventh floor thought i was rich, and one of my AV juniors said i would look like a bloody airplane at night.

so there isn't a final word. hmm. i miss the past two days already.

"In a modern culture
My friend you must be careful
They've a million
Ways to kill you
In this dangerous world
There's an art to growing old
Taking chances
Magic happens

One mistake's all it takes
And your life has come undone
Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl
It's a drag
I know it's hard
But you're tearing her apart
Walk away 'cause you're breaking up the girl"

- "Breaking Up The Girl", Garbage